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General Strategies for Dealing with Problem Behaviours

photo of teacher speaking with child

There are many reasons why children misbehave. As a parent, teacher or early childhood professional, one of the first steps in dealing with problem behaviours is to try and figure out what is the “function”, or purpose of the behaviour. In other words, what does your child get when she behaves this way? The purpose of any behaviour is either to avoid or to gain access to objects, activities, attention, or sensory stimulation.

Once you have a good idea about the purpose of the behaviour you can begin to deal with it by making the problem behaviour:

  • irrelevant (not important) – first, try to prevent it from happening, such as making changes to the environment, routines, tasks, teaching methods, and the timing of events
  • inefficient (to have no value) – teach a different and more appropriate behaviour that will serve the same purpose for your child, but will be simple for her to do instead
  • ineffective (not successful) – change the end results or the consequences so that it no longer helps your child to avoid or gain access to objects, activities, attention, or sensory stimulation.

Remember — When attempting to change a problem behaviour, it may get worse before it gets better. Be patient and persistent when attempting to make change.

Here are some general strategies for dealing with problem behaviour that can be used with the following specific functions:

Obtain Objects or Activities

When the purpose for problem behaviour is to gain access to an object or activity,

  • Provide an appropriate replacement. Give your child another way to get the object or activity. For example, make this object easier for your child to access or reach.
  • Teach your child different ways of asking for the item or activity, such as using the Picture Exchange Communication System, gestures, vocalizations, and words.
  • Don’t respond to problem behaviour as if it is a type of communication. For example: If your child is screaming in front of the computer for it to be turned on, wait until she has calmed down, praise her for being calm, then give her the desired result.
  • Do not provide any type of reward for the inappropriate behaviour. Provide as little attention as possible. Redirect your child in a very neutral manner.

Obtain Attention

If problem behaviour seems to be motivated by the need for attention,

  • Attempt to ignore the behaviour, or provide as little attention as possible. For example, if your child bangs the table to get your attention, wait until she has stopped banging and then give her attention. Do not look at or acknowledge the banging while it occurs.
  • Provide more attention and praise when your child is doing the right kinds of things. When your child is sitting and playing, or doing an activity, give her lots of attention, such as saying “Nice job doing your puzzle!”
  • Teach your child to seek attention more appropriately by calling a person by name, taking an adult by the hand, tapping the adult on the shoulder, or by producing a specific sign or exchanging a picture symbol to make this request.

Remember that negative attention, such as raising your voice, can be just as reinforcing to some children.

Obtain Sensory Stimulation

If your child is seeking sensory stimulation in an inappropriate way,

  • Replace! Determine what kind of sensory stimulation your child is seeking and provide it in a more appropriate manner. For example, if your child bites or puts things (other than food) in her mouth, you may want to provide her with a chew tube or a specific chewing toy, so she gets the same feeling in her mouth. An occupational therapy consultation will be helpful when identifying safe alternatives.
  • When possible, direct your child’s attention away from the sensory feedback by getting her busy with other activities.

Escape Objects and Activities

You need to think carefully about children who attempt to escape certain kinds of objects or activities.

Consider these questions:

  • Is the activity too difficult for my child?
  • Does she know what other people want from her?
  • Are there sensory concerns? For example, is the music loud in the room?
  • Was a warning provided before the transition to the activity? (e.g., one more minute, then we are leaving).

If all of the above points have been addressed and the behaviour continues, the following strategies will help you deal with the problem behaviour:

  • Ensure follow-through. Initially, this may mean that your child is expected to participate in the activity for an extremely minimal amount of time (e.g., sit at the table for lunch for twenty seconds).
  • Provide rewards as soon as your child has completed the activity, or for any cooperation during the activity.
  • Teach your child to indicate their desire to end an activity by asking for a “break”, saying/signing “no” or “finished”, or using a picture symbol.

Escape Attention

If your child does not like attention, she may be trying to send a message. Think about the following questions:

  • Is the interaction too difficult for my child?
  • Is my child stressed?
  • Are there sensory concerns, such as difficulty with loud noises or physical contact?

Try to:

  • Slowly pair yourself with things or activities your child loves. This will make your attention much more tolerable and perhaps even fun.
  • Reduce or change your expectations.
  • Teach coping strategies and stress-release techniques. For example, you can create a Personal Story to help teach your child about what to do in difficult social situations. Check out the For more information box for details.

Escape Sensory Stimulation

If your child does not like certain kinds of sensory stimulation,

  • Change the environment and play materials to reduce the sensory input that is difficult for your child. For example: If your child is sensitive to loud noise, lower the sound volume on toys (many now have lower volume buttons). Watch your child’s response to different types of noise. By decreasing the noise level or type of noise, your child may be less likely to look for an escape.
  • Seek a consultation with an occupational therapist.

Most of all, it is important to remember not to force your child to participate in activities that they really does not like.

Remember that dealing with problem behaviour can be challenging. Be consistent in your approach and seek help if you need it. Change takes time and patience.

Following Instructions

photo of three children putting blocks away

Following instructions is important in helping children learn new skills and function well in different environments. Instructions can teach children new skills step by step, or let them know what to do next.

Instructions can have different levels of difficulty. A one-step instruction such as “Get your shoes,” has only one piece of information that needs to be followed. A two-step instruction such as “Get your shoes and put them on,” has two pieces of information or steps that need to be followed.

As a parent, teacher or early childhood professional, you can help your child learn to follow instructions by considering her developmental level and the difficulty of the instruction. You may need to simplify or break down the instruction to ensure success.

Breaking down the Task

Though some children quickly learn skills through watching and following others, many children need the new skill to be broken down into smaller steps and to be allowed time to master each step in the sequence. The breaking down of complex skills into smaller parts is called task analysis. Anything we do can be broken down into smaller steps.

For example:

Asha has difficulty with following the instructions to tidy up her toys. When asked to tidy up, Asha continues to play. When asked a second time, she throws a toy. Asha is using problem behaviour to tell us, “I don’t want to tidy up – I want to keep playing!” To teach Asha to follow the instruction to tidy up, we will first have to break down the steps for her:

  1. Select which items Asha will need to put away.
  2. Teach Asha to pick up one item at a time.
  3. Encourage Asha to put the items in the appropriate spot (e.g. container, basket, shelf, etc.).
  4. If possible, continue until all the items that need to be put away are cleared.

Teaching the New Skill

Teaching a new skill involves preparation – whether it is means setting aside a specific time to teach the skill or collecting materials. When you are teaching a new skill, consider using visuals, such as photos or picture symbols that represent each step. In some instances, visual aides support your child in understanding what is expected of her.

In order for your child to learn the steps to a new skill, you could provide assistance or “prompt” along the way. A prompt is a cue or hint meant to help your child perform a desired behaviour or part of a skill.

Let’s take a look at how we can help Asha follow through with each step:

  • Give Asha a verbal warning that play time is almost finished. You could say, “Two more minutes then tidy up!”
  • Prior to the actual tidy up time, you could remove any excess items from Asha’s play area so as to avoid overwhelming her.
  • Once the two-minute warning to tidy up has come, sing the “Tidy Up” song for Asha to hear.
  • One of the prompts Asha may need is gentle hand-over-hand assistance to place one item in the basket. Select the item that is closest to Asha and if necessary, bring the container closer to her.
  • As soon as Asha completes the tidy-up instruction, we can direct her to the next activity.

When teaching a new skill such as “tidying up,” we should only expect Asha to tidy up one item initially. Once Asha becomes familiar with the new expectation and routine, we can reduce the amount of physical prompting from hand-over-hand to a gentle tap on the elbow or shoulder, model the behaviour and so on. The goal is to eventually fade out the amount of support we are providing to Asha, so she can tidy up on her own. As Asha requires less help, we can gradually increase the number of items from one to two, three and four she will be expected to pick up.

Remember just as following instructions are an important skill for children to learn, how you give instructions is equally important as well.

Here are a few tips to follow, when giving your child an instruction:

  • Make sure the instruction you give is clear as well as developmental or age appropriate.
  • See that you have your child’s attention, when you give the instruction. This may involve calling her by name and or giving a gentle touch.
  • Use visual prompts to help your child understand your request.
  • Remember to give your child enough time to respond to your request. Say the instruction then WAIT for a response.
  • Model the appropriate response for your child to follow, when necessary.

Giving Reinforcement

Reinforcement is anything that motivates or encourages your child. It is any environmental event that maintains or strengthens an action or behaviour. Reinforcers may involve offering a verbal praise, a special activity, music or song, and toys. Reinforcement is a reward that occurs or is given after a desired behaviour.

It is important to motivate and reward your child when she is learning a new skill. It helps her stay on track and provides a better understanding of what is required or expected of her. By rewarding your child for participating in the routine and learning the required steps to the task, you are helping to shape the behaviour or outcome.

In our example, we will provide verbal praise for Asha’s efforts in tidying up and following the instructions. We can say, “You put the toy in the basket; great tidying up!”

Both parents and teachers could also carry mini daily schedules with them throughout the day. Asha can be shown the picture of the upcoming activity (which is highly preferred) to help her understand what the reward for tidying up will be. We can also say, “First tidy up, then snack time” while showing her the picture of snack time. Once Asha has tidied up, she can hold the picture as a transition helper while walking to the next activity.

Generalizing the New Skill

A new skill can be applied in different environments, with other people, under various conditions. For some children, learning to tidy up at the child care centre or at home does not necessarily mean that they are going to perform this skill elsewhere, or with anyone other than the person who taught them.

In our example, we help Asha generalize this skill by:

  • Having everyone involved teach the same skill by using the same techniques.
  • Teaching the skill in several different locations around the classroom or home (e.g. during indoor and outdoor free play time, cubby area, lunch time and during the washroom routine).

Remember, teaching your child to follow directions will take time and patience. Keep practicing and it will get easier.

Facts About Behaviour

photo of child on slide holding a ball

We have all heard stories about children who are “out of control” or “impossible to manage”. While describing a child in this way may explain how you may feel about his behaviour, it does not give us a clear picture. Let’s take a closer look at what behaviour is so we can understand it better and plan for change!

What is behaviour?

Behaviour is anything that a person says or does. It is any action that we can SEE or HEAR. Here are some examples of behaviour:

  • Smiling
  • Sleeping
  • Throwing a ball
  • Grinding your teeth
  • Crying
  • Whistling
  • Scratching
  • Swallowing
  • Talking

Behaviour also has a “function” or purpose. It can be a way to meet our needs, or help us communicate. Sometimes, when a person can’t communicate, they rely on behaviour to take the place of speaking or communicating. A child may use behaviour as a way to let you know:

  • “I’m trying to tell you something.”
  • “Hey, how about some attention?”
  • “I feel sick.”
  • “It’s too loud in here.”
  • “Leave me alone!”
  • “I’m hungry.”
  • “I’m tired.”

What is meant by problem behaviour?

Problem, or challenging behaviour can put the health and safety of a child, and those around him, at risk. It can also interfere with a child’s learning. Sometimes, behaviour is a problem because it happens far too much, or not enough. Problem behaviours may take many forms, such as:

  • yelling, screaming, or shouting
  • hitting, kicking, or punching
  • running away
  • constantly singing or vocalizing
  • spitting or biting
  • pinching oneself or others
  • throwing things
  • doing something too often, or not often enough, like looking in someone’s eyes, or sitting still
  • ignoring people, pretending not to hear them

Why does he do that?

As mentioned above, all behaviour happens for a reason. As a parent, teacher or early childhood professional, it is important to better understand why your child is behaving or acting in a certain way and determine the function or purpose of the behaviour. Simply put, what does he “get” for behaving in this way?

The function of behaviour can be categorized as either to obtain (get) or avoid someone or something, objects, activities, attention, or sensory stimulation. Often, problem behaviour occurs because a child is unable to communicate or make his needs known in a way people around him can understand.

Here are some examples:

  • Avoid a disliked objectKevin doesn’t like to eat macaroni and cheese. Every time he has it for lunch, he bangs the table with his fists.
  • Avoid an unpleasant activityFaiza doesn’t like going to the dentist. When it is time for her appointment, she starts to scratch herself.
  • Get away from a certain person or groupChristian gets very anxious when his friends try to give him a hug. When they get too close, he screams and shouts.
  • To get a desired objectChantal wants to play with a toy that is on the top shelf. She can’t reach it, so she begins to scream very loudly.
  • Participate in an enjoyable activityMarcus wants to play in the sandbox, but there is not enough room. He starts pinching the other children in the sandbox.
  • Get attention from a certain person or groupTamara wants to play with her cousin Sarah. Tamara slaps Sarah on the back to get her attention.

In some situations, a child might behave in a challenging way in order to make himself more comfortable. Some children can be very sensitive to the sounds, smells, sights, or textures around them. They may look for specific ways to experience (gain access to) sensations they enjoy, or avoid sensations they dislike. It may be more difficult to figure out behaviour that serves the purpose of trying to obtain or avoid sensory stimulation.

For example:

  • Avoid or escape sensory stimulationBasit does not like the scratchy feeling on his head from his winter hat. He consistently removes his hat and throws it away.
  • To get or obtain sensory stimulationTania likes the feeling of soft and silky objects. She often touches or caresses other children’s hair.

Keep in mind this is a brief description of the basic principles in understanding behaviours and their function or purpose, but dealing with, or managing problem behaviour requires much more.

If your child’s behaviour is difficult to understand or control, and frequently puts the safety of themselves and others around them at risk, talk to a professional about your concerns.

Everyday Opportunities to Develop Communication Skills

photo of teacher and child building tower of blocks

Like many things in life, communication is a two-way street. It is an active partnership between people that involves more than words. We communicate with each other using speech, gestures, touch, and facial expressions.

Children with special needs may communicate in ways that are difficult for other people to understand. Successful communication involves both understanding and being understood by others.

As a parent, teacher or early childhood professional, you can help your child understand you by:

  • Looking at his face when you are speaking to him.
  • Emphasizing or stressing important words by saying them a bit louder.
  • Speaking slowly and clearly.
  • Using gestures, objects, or pictures to match your words.
  • Repeating parts of questions or instructions.

You can help your child express himself by:

  • Giving him time to respond to you.
  • Providing him with visual aids such as objects and pictures.
  • Starting sentences and encouraging him to complete them.
  • Responding to his communication attempts.

If your child has a speech and language delay, a vision or hearing impairment, a Speech Language Pathologist or agency support person can provide you with special techniques to help your child communicate.

Encouraging your Child to Communicate

Before moving on, it is helpful to think of what your child’s communication attempts might look and sound like. Here are some examples:

  • Looking at an object, activity, or person.
  • Reaching for or pointing to an object, activity or person.
  • Pulling another person towards an object or activity he wants.
  • Gesturing to show what he wants or does not want.
  • Using sounds or words to say what he wants or does not want.

There are many things you can do at home or in the classroom on a daily basis to develop your child’s communication skills. The strategies that follow can increase your child’s ability to express his needs and wants. The key is to be consistent in your expectations of his response.

For example, if you are teaching your child how to gesture “more” rather than grab when he wants something, respond to any attempts he makes to gesture. Initially, another adult or older sibling can help by guiding your child’s response. This person can show him what to do by modeling the gesture or physically positioning him. It is important to respond positively to your child’s communication attempts so that he experiences success and is motivated to continue communicating with you.

Communication “Temptations”

Put a small toy that your child likes in a container that he finds difficult to open on his own. Give him the container and show him the toy inside. Wait for him to ask for help opening the container. As soon as he responds by passing you the container or gesturing for you to open it, open the container and give him the toy. You can say, “Oh you want the car. Let me take it out.”

More!

Encourage your child to ask for more of something he enjoys. Begin an
activity that he enjoys then stop. Wait for a few moments and encourage him to ask for “more” using sounds, words, gestures or pictures. As soon as he makes an attempt to say “more”, continue the activity.

Here is an example using bubbles:

Take a container of bubbles and show it to your child. Open the container and begin blowing bubbles. This is the fun part! Encourage your child to look at and touch the bubbles. Show him how to pop bubbles and make popping sounds together. When the bubbles have disappeared, put the cap back on the container and ask your child if he would like more bubbles. Wait a few moments. If your child looks interested, encourage him to ask for more by gesturing, pointing to the container, saying “more” or “bubbles”. When he responds say, “You want more bubbles”. Blow more bubbles!

Try stressing these words:

  • “Open”
  • “Bubbles”
  • “Blow”
  • “Pop”
  • “More”
  • “Want”
  • “Finished”

Here are some other ways to encourage your child to ask for “more”:

  • Pour a little bit of juice into a glass.
  • Play some music he enjoys and then turn it off.
  • Tickle, bounce or lift him in the air one time and then stop.

Making Choices

Before presenting your child with a choice make sure that there are few distractions and you have his attention. Begin by giving him a choice between two objects or activities. Show and name each choice when offering it to your child. For example, “Do you want crackers (hold up cracker box) or cookies (hold up cookie box)?” When both choices have been presented, give him some time to choose. You might need to prompt him by saying, “I want___________”. In this case, he might respond by pointing to the cookie box or saying, “cookie”. Once your child has made a choice, repeat it out loud and follow through by giving him the object or starting the activity. For example, “Oh you want cookies.”

You can also teach your child to make choices using a choice board like the one pictured below. He can point to the item he wants.

Play

Play time is an excellent time to build your child’s communication skills. Try to use toys that are fun and can teach a variety of skills. For example, “Mr. Potato Head” can increase your child’s vocabulary and fine motor skills. Talk to him as you play and show him how to create different funny faces.

You can build your child’s vocabulary by using action words such as “in”, “out”, “on” and talking about:

  • Colours
  • Body parts
  • Clothing and accessories

Mr. Potato Head becomes a communication “temptation” when you put the pieces inside and shut the door.

Emotion Matching Game

Some children need to be taught to look at faces to get social information. A matching game using human faces expressing different emotions can help encourage your child to look at faces more closely.

  • Print and cut out the emotion cards.
  • You may choose to laminate the cards to make them more durable.
  • Start with a small number of cards (2 – 4) to play with, so that your child will be successful. Gradually increase the number of cards you use.
  • Place the cards face down.
  • Ask your child to turn over 2 cards.
  • If the cards have the same face then your child has a match.
  • If the faces are different, have your child turn the cards over again.
  • Now it’s your turn.
  • Remember to label each card by describing the emotion.

happy girlhappy girl
sad boysad boy
angry girlangry girl
worried boyworried boy

Creating and Using an Activity Calendar

photo of activity calendar

A calendar can serve a wide variety of purposes. Calendars can help us remember what we have to do, where we are going to be, and when we will be there.

Young children usually think about things that are happening at this moment in time. They may have difficulty understanding the difference between today, tomorrow, and next week. Whether you are a parent, teacher or early childhood professional, you can use an activity calendar to help your child to see what will happen during the day or in the future. It’s also a fun way to learn the days of the week.

An activity calendar can be created to depict the daily, weekly, or monthly schedule. A daily calendar or schedule shows the main activities that will take place during the day. A weekly calendar can focus on the events that will occur during the week. A monthly calendar is great for highlighting events that take place on a regular basis throughout the month, like swimming, or to indicate special events like a trip or birthday party.

How to Make a Calendar:

You will need:

  • a sheet of bristol board
  • mactac
  • velcro
  • markers
  • glue or tape
  • computer and printer

Steps:

  • Print out the days of the week.
  • Print out the template you would like to use daily, weekly, or monthly.
  • Cut out the days of the week and glue one to each box on the top row.
  • Cover with mactac, if available.
  • You may also buy a large calendar at your local office supplies store.
  • Once you calendar is ready, attach your symbols – you can use tape, Velcro, or sticky tack.
  • Create your own activity symbols by taking photographs, cutting pictures out of magazines, drawing your own, or visit the Visuals Engine to print picture symbols (simple line drawings that represent real events, activities, people, etc.) or photos.

How to use:

  • Let your child/children know that you will be making a special calendar, just for them.
  • Place the calendar in a location where it can easily be seen, at eye level and where there are not too many distractions.
  • Decide on the type of visuals you are going to use, such as picture symbols, or real photos. Help your child understand what the visuals mean. For example, before lunch time point to the picture and say, “Time for lunch”.
  • Add the picture symbols or photos of the main activity for each day, such as playground or lunch.
  • Adding activities that are different from your child’s usual routine is important. If your child has to miss playground because of rain and will be doing an indoor activity instead, putting it on the calendar can help him prepare for this change in his routine.
  • Be sure to add events that your child is looking forward to, such as birthdays and holidays.
  • Activity calendars help to promote the development of receptive language skills. Your child will hear and learn new words/phrases and begin to understand concepts like time. For example, “Yesterday you went swimming. Today you will go to the playground.”
  • Set aside a time each week to talk about plans for the upcoming week.

Creating a Behaviour Support Plan

Illustration of sample behaviour plan

When behaviour significantly interferes with a child’s learning, ability to follow the daily routine, or is dangerous to the child or others, you will want to gather information, observe, and record your observations. Once you have collected all the information concerning the behaviour a more formal plan may need to be developed.

Whether you are a parent, teacher or early childhood professional, working together with your child’s support team to create a plan can help your child make improvements in his behaviour or to find more appropriate alternatives. A Behaviour Support Plan is a written document that is created so that everyone involved with your child will have a CONSISTENT understanding of why the behaviour may be occurring and the actions that need to happen in order to quickly create improvements for your child.

The plan will include strategies for:

  • teaching and increasing skills to replace the problem behaviours
  • preventing the problems before they occur
  • dealing with the problems if or when they do occur, and
  • monitoring progress

Components of a Written Behaviour Support Plan:

The following is a list of components that should be included in your written plan. You may also refer to the Behaviour Support Plan Form by following the link below in the “For More Information” box.

  1. Description of the Behaviour of Concern: Where and when does the behaviour occur?Describe the behaviour accurately, so that everyone observing the child can recognize the behaviour. For example, “Jimmy pinches and slaps nearby peers when adults pay attention to another child”. You will want to note if the behaviour occurs more during certain activities, times of day, or with certain people. For example, “Jimmy pinches more often when attention is paid to Sally. It also occurs more frequently in the afternoon, when Jimmy appears tired”.
  2. The Function of the Behaviour: Why does the behaviour occur? What is the child’s motivation for the behaviour?This is where a functional behavioural assessment will indicate what needs the child is meeting with the behaviour. Use the information from your ABC Functional Assessment Cards, the Functional Assessment Interview by O’Neill or the Motivation Assessment Scale by Durand and Crimmins to complete this section.

    For example, “Jimmy may be pinching other students to draw attention away from Sally and onto himself. Although the attention he receives from the adult may initially be negative, the attention-seeking behaviour of pinching paid off for Jimmy”.

  3. Previous Behaviour Management Strategies: What interventions have been tried? What has worked in the past?Talk with other members of the support team to learn what behaviour management strategies work or do not work for the child. For example, does he respond well to praise or other rewards for appropriate behaviours. Are there certain consequences that have worked in the past, such as reinforcement programs or loss of privileges?
  4. Setting Behaviour Goals: What more appropriate behaviour(s) should the child learn to replace the current inappropriate behaviour(s)?Describe the replacement behaviour(s) or skill(s) that are necessary for the child to learn in order to meet the same need that the inappropriate behavior was meeting. For example, “Jimmy may need to learn to wait his turn to interact with an adult, or go up to her and say her name, or tap her on the arm to request attention”.
  5. Prevention Strategies restructuring antecedents: Are short-term prevention procedures needed?This section of your plan describes what should be changed, and how it fits in considering the assessment information. It may include things such as: removing distracting materials; providing quiet, separate seating/play areas; establishing or modifying expectations; using visual cues/signals, transition helpers; providing a visual schedule; offering choices; using gestures and physical cues; minimizing transition times; teaching specific rules; or changing daily schedules. You’ll want to be sure to include who is responsible for making each change.
  6. Teaching New Behaviours: What is the new, more appropriate behaviour that is going to be taught? How will this alternative appropriate behaviour help the child to get what they want?Describe how and by whom the strategies will be provided and new behaviours rewarded. Provide details on what supports the child may need, such as cues or prompts (e.g., personal stories), the need for modeling the appropriate behaviour and how rewards will be given. For example, “Jimmy may need a personal story to explain how he should ask for attention. The appropriate new behaviour may need to be modeled and rewarded when Jimmy practices them. All adults supporting Jimmy will need to be aware that he will receive attention when he does the new behaviour”.
  7. Consequence Plan: If problem behaviour occurs again, what will the response be?If the child displays the problem behaviour, and consequences are required, what are they and how will they be carried out? For example, if a behaviour is to be ignored, consider the most effective way to do this, such as not making eye contact with the child. It is important to ensure that the problem behaviour does not result in an “accidental payoff”, or the child getting what he wants.

    Following a consequence, such as planned ignoring, the child should be shown the appropriate behaviour.

  8. Description of Success: What criteria will be used to evaluate progress? What data will be collected? How will it be recorded, and by whom?Describe how the child’s progress in learning the new behaviour(s) and skill(s) will be evaluated. Describe how the frequency or intensity of the inappropriate behaviour(s) will be monitored to ensure that the strategies are working. Be specific. For example, “The child care staff will record on a sheet provided, each day for two weeks how many times Jimmy requests attention from staff in the appropriate ways outlined in the plan. Staff will also record daily the number of times Jimmy pinches Sally or another child.”
  9. Follow-up Activities: When will this plan be implemented? If follow-up is needed, when will it occur?Describe what needs to happen to successfully implement the behaviour plan. Is training or further preparation required?
  10. Communication Regarding the Plan: How will this plan be communicated to all who need to know?Determine who needs to be aware of the plan, so they can provide support, understand the learning goals, and/or help monitor the child’s progress. Set up a communication system with the support team through weekly meetings or a communication journal. A weekly staff meeting to discuss how the plan is going is also encouraged and allows the support team to make sure everyone is on track and being consistent.
  11. Monitoring the Child’s Progress: Who is responsible to ensure the above items are in place/completed? When will the support team review the plan?Indicate who will check on the status of the plan and contact team members for scheduled or urgent reviews. The support team will need to meet regularly to evaluate progress and make adjustments to the plan, as necessary.

Although a formal Behaviour Support Plan may seem like a time consuming job, it can be an important step towards successfully resolving serious behaviour concerns. Patience and a supportive, committed team will ensure positive outcomes for everyone.

Changing Behaviour through Attention and Ignoring

Many children enjoy receiving attention. If they do not receive enough positive attention for their good behaviours, they will often resort to behaviour that results in negative forms of attention (e.g., yelling, nagging, and consequences such as “time out”). Some would prefer to receive this negative attention than to do without attention all together. Children quickly learn what behaviours yield both positive and negative attention.

As a parent, teacher or early childhood professional, how you provide your attention can be a powerful tool in shaping positive behaviour and reducing undesirable behaviour as well. Learning how and when to use your attention can be very effective. Use both positive attention and ignoring at the right moments. In this way, your child learns that acceptable behaviours result in positive attention and inappropriate behaviours result in no attention.

How to Give Positive Attention Effectively:

  • Make eye contact with your child and speak enthusiastically.
  • Be specific about the behaviour that you liked. For example, use “Good being quiet” or “Nice hands to self,” instead of “Good girl.”
  • Keep praise statements simple. For instance, “Good picking up toys” instead of, “That was good picking up your toys so that no one would trip on them.”
  • It is VERY IMPORTANT to give the type of attention that your child enjoys. Make note of the type of attention your child enjoys and that which she may find unpleasant. It is important that the attention you give like a pat on the back, a smile or lots of verbal praise reward appropriate behaviour.
  • Give attention immediately following the behaviour that you liked. It is very important not to delay when you reward a positive behaviour. Delays make it more difficult for your child to understand what she did to receive attention. As well, your child may do another behaviour between the time you praise and the behaviour you wanted to praise. Minimize confusion.
  • Withhold attention for 30 seconds following an inappropriate behaviour. For example, after a negative behaviour, your child should exhibit at least 30 seconds of good behaviour before you provide her with positive attention.
  • Catch your child being good. All gains and appropriate behaviours are important and should result in positive attention. Statements such as, “Nice sitting on the toilet” or “Nice sharing” are important to hear.
  • Provide positive attention for behaviours that cannot occur at the same time as inappropriate behaviours. For example, if your child often tantrums or is disruptive, praise her for playing quietly, sharing and using a normal voice volume during her play. This will teach your child acceptable alternatives to misbehaviours.
  • Provide positive attention at least once every 5 minutes. You will know you are praising your child enough, when you feel you are doing it too much or too often.
  • Be sure that good behaviours receive more attention than inappropriate behaviours.
  • Provide many opportunities for positive attention. It is easier to promote appropriate behaviours when your child is doing something she likes to do and you are both focused on that one activity (e.g., looking at a book, playing a game). The more you arrange the environment to be conducive to appropriate behaviour the better the chance she will learn how to act appropriately.

How to Ignore Effectively

  • Determine what “ignorable behaviour” is. Ignorable behaviour is typically defined as behaviours whose function is to gain the attention of others. It is attention that is the fuel that maintains the behaviour of concern. Generally, these are behaviours that are not harmful to your child, others, or others’ belongings. It is important that all care providers and parents be aware of the definition to be consistent in their response.
  • Ignore as soon as the behaviour occurs. Delaying your response (ignoring) will confuse your child if too much time passes between her action and your response.
  • Ignore consistently. Whenever ignorable behaviours occur, be consistent in your response. This will help your child to learn the limits to her behaviour and to determine which behaviours will result in the desired attention.
  • Make ignoring obvious. To have an impact on behaviour, your child must be aware that attention is being removed because of a specific behaviour she has done. This is particularly challenging for some children with a developmental disability who are less aware of social cues. Therefore, ignoring must be made obvious by:
    • looking away,
    • keeping a neutral facial expression,
    • talking with others in child’s presence,
    • restricting physical contact,
    • tuning the child out, or
    • engaging in other regular tasks.
  • Expect behaviours to escalate. Things often get worse before they get better. This is because your child may increase the frequency of behaviours in an attempt to receive the attention she is accustomed to. This does not mean that ignoring is not working–quite the opposite–she is merely testing the new rules that have changed.
  • Do not allow your child to escape a task due to ignorable behaviours. If you are working on a task, such as putting toys away, continue to follow through with the task even if behaviours you have defined as “ignorable” occur. Ignoring is a very active strategy that requires that you withhold eye contact and make no verbal response to your child. However, it does not mean to stand back and allow destructive or harmful behaviour to occur. It is important at times to prevent and block behaviours as well as removing or diverting your child from an area or situation. It is important to keep everyone and everything safe.

Adapted from: the September/October 1999 issue of Disability
Solutions, Volume 3, Issue 5 & 6

Building Social Skills

As adults, we sometimes confuse social skills with manners. While knowing to say “please” and “thank you” is certainly helpful, it does not guarantee a child will be included in play.

Social skills include skills such as sharing, taking turns, allowing others to talk without interrupting, and appropriate ways to deal with anger. In fact, social skills can be learned at all ages; even adults continue to learn social skills. Most of a child’s social learning is done automatically, by seeing, or copying others in his environment. Opportunities to interact with other children can help a child develop the skills needed to make friends and get along with others. Keep in mind that some children may need more direct teaching to help them develop specific social skills.

Teaching Social Skills

Whether you are a parent, teacher or early childhood professional, there are many ways to help your child develop social skills. When teaching a social skill, consider your child’s current abilities. You can ask yourself the following questions:

  • Will this skill improve his ability to communicate and socialize?
  • Does it match the social and communication skills of other children the same age?
  • Can the skill be taught in different locations and with various people?

It’s important to remember to work on one social skill at a time and be sure that everyone involved is using the same approach.

Practising social skills yourself can help your child know what to do when he meets other children. Here are some tips to get you started:

  1. Be a role model
    A great way to teach social skills is by the behaviour we model. Children learn by watching and practising what adults do. If you are trying to teach your child to appropriately get someone’s attention by calling a person’s name, or gently tapping him on the shoulder, try to use the same strategies yourself.
  2. Act it outA fun way to teach social skills is to “act out” social situations with your child using dolls or puppets.Here are a few examples:
    • Asking someone to play.
    • What to do when you want to play with someone’s toy.
    • What to do when someone takes your toy.
    In the beginning, you should model by playing all the ‘parts’. You can keep him interested by using characters from his favourite television shows. Be sure to speak in an animated voice and use words that your child can understand. Try to act out situations with both positive and negative responses. This will help your child recognize that other children will not always be willing to share or play with him.Here is a sample situation you can act out using toys from the television show, “Sesame Street”.Elmo: “Hi Oscar! Want to play ball?”Oscar: “I don’t like ball.”Ernie: “Hmmm….Oscar doesn’t want to play. I’ll ask Big Bird. Hi Big Bird! Want to play ball?”Big Bird: “OK Elmo. Roll the ball to me!”After you have “acted out” a few social situations you can encourage him to join in. After more practice you can ask other children to participate.
  3. Praise
    Whatever your child’s skill level, praise him for positive behaviour. For example, “Jonathan, good waiting for your turn!” If your child misbehaves by doing things such as grabbing, or pushing to get toys, show him more appropriate behaviours.
  4. Step by Step
    Sometimes you may have to teach a child specific social skills by breaking it down into smaller steps and teaching one step at a time.For example, listening to others can be broken down into the following steps:
    • STOP what you are doing.
    • LOOK at the person talking to you.
    • LISTEN to what they are saying.

Tips for Parents

Choosing Playmates and Activities

Like adults, some children find it easier to make friends and meet new people than others. Some people naturally prefer to spend time on their own, while others are more out-going. When thinking of possible playmates for your child, consider his personality, age, and interests. A child of the same age with a similar personality and interests should be a good match.

If you are having difficulty thinking of children your child might enjoy spending time with, you might want to try:

  • Visiting neighbours or extended family members with young children.
  • Visiting a local park, drop-in centre, library story hour or enrolling him in a child care program so he can see and be around other children.
  • Set up a meeting time with other parents who have children of the same age.
  • Attending ‘parent-and-child’ swimming, or music lessons together.

Make a note of children your child seems comfortable with and those he tends to stay away from. You may find that an older brother, sister, or neighbour will take your child “under her wing” and include him in activities.

Once you have chosen a few playmates for your child you can begin to plan some activities for them to enjoy together. Introduce your child to one new playmate at a time. Inviting several children over at once may be overwhelming. Try to plan activities that suit your child’s personality and social skills. If your child is quiet and doesn’t talk much, inviting a friend over to watch a video may be a good idea. On the other hand, if your child is very active and energetic, an outdoor activity might be more enjoyable. For children who are most secure at home with a familiar caregiver in the room, planning activities such as baking that require adult supervision can be helpful.

Sharing information about your child’s skills and interests is important. He is more likely to use his social skills at school, or child care when he is doing something he does well and enjoys. Sometimes children misbehave to avoid activities they dislike. You can also ask which activities and games are popular at recess and in the classroom. If possible, you can introduce your child to these games at home.

It is also helpful to provide information on things that may affect your child’s ability to get along with his classmates. For example, if he does not like to be touched a lot, he can be seated beside other children that are able to keep their hands to themselves. If he is more comfortable playing with one child than a group he may be encouraged to ask one child to play, rather than join in a group.

Social skill development is very important to ensuring that a child will grow to be a happy, healthy and successful adult. By focusing on this area and using the strategies we’ve described, you will make a great contribution to a young life. When helping your child make friends, follow his lead and respect his comfort level. Pushing him to befriend a particular child, or participate in activities he doesn’t enjoy may lead to disappointment and rejection. Taking things slowly and focusing on fun are more likely to lead to success in the long run.

Asking a Friend to Play

photo of children in classroom

Joining a group of children in a game or asking a friend to play can be very challenging for some children. Playing and interacting with others is an important social skill that children need to learn. As a parent, teacher, or early childhood professional, your job is to teach new skills that will help your child build independence and move forward in their development. You also teach new skills to reduce frustration, promote self-esteem, and to replace behaviour that may not be the most acceptable.

For Example, Michael has difficulties during outdoor play. He hits or pushes his peers. He is using problem behaviour to tell others, “I want to play with you”. If you have a child like Michael, you too can teach him how to ask a friend to play.

Breaking Down the Task

Though some children quickly learn social skills through observing and imitating others, many children will benefit from having a skill broken down into smaller steps. The breaking down of complex skills into smaller components is called task analysis. Anything we do can be broken down into smaller steps. The number of steps depends on the needs of the child.

Let’s break down the steps to asking a friend to play:

  1. Look for a friend who is playing.
  2. Walk towards the friend.
  3. Tap them gently on the shoulder.
  4. Look at them and say, “Can I play with you?”
  5. Wait for other child to answer.

Teaching the New Skill

One effective way to teach social skills is by creating a Social Script. This is a method of teaching children how to behave in specific social situations. It might include a short description of a challenging social situation and then it provides suggestions of specific things the child can say or do in response to the social situation.

When writing a Social Script, consider using photos or pictures symbols that represent each step.

In our example, we are going to use picture symbols for Michael’s social script. You’ll also notice that we simplified the skill into three steps and did not include the step of tapping the person on the shoulder. Michael was inappropriately hitting and pushing his peers; we want to teach him to use words to get a friends attention and ask to play.

Here’s what the social script will look like.

Ask a Friend to Play Script

We can review this story every day before outdoor and other play times throughout the day. Michael may also need some assistance to follow these steps.

In order for your child to learn the steps to a new skill, you will have to provide assistance or “prompt” along the way. A prompt is a cue or hint meant to help your child to perform a desired behaviour, skill, or part of a skill.

You can physical guide your child with the first few steps and walk with him to stand next to the other child. Then prompt your child by whispering the exact words he is to say. Once your child becomes familiar with asking a friend to play your can reduce the amount of physical prompting by slowly removing yourself and allowing him to do it independently.

In our example, we can walk through each step – stand close, say the friend’s name then WAIT for Michael to say the rest. We can work backwards to fade out the prompting.

Giving Reinforcement

Reinforcement is anything that motivates or encourages your child. It is any environmental event that maintains or strengthens an action or behaviour. Praise, a special activity, music, toys and food can be used as reinforcers. Reinforcement is a reward that occurs or is given after behaviour.

It is important to motivate and reward your child as they learn a new skill. It helps him to stay on track and understand what is required or expected. By rewarding your child for getting increasingly closer to the steps that you want to see in the end you can shape his behaviour.

In our example, we know that Michael wants to play with another child so this is the greatest reward. We may also need to reward Michael as he follows each step in the social script. We can do this with verbal praise, “Yeah Michael, you asked Jazmine to play!”

You can also use a token economy system to reinforce your child for his positive behaviour. Token systems provide a visual representation of how much your child has accomplished and how much more he needs to accomplish before reinforcement is delivered.

In our example, Michael will work towards earning his favourite treat – a rice crispy square! Michael will get one token (a picture symbol of a 2 children playing) every time he successfully asks a child to play by following the steps and using words. We’ll start with him earning two tokens and gradually increase the requirement to three and four tokens.

Generalizing the New Skill

You will want your child to know that this new skill can be applied in many places, with many people, and under many conditions. For some children asking another child to play at the child care program does not necessarily mean that they are going to demonstrate this skill at home, or with anyone other than the care provider who taught them. To help your child generalize the skills work together in a team as care providers and parents. In this way you will be able to teach the skills in a similar way. With time, practice and consistency your child can learn this valuable skill.

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