Making a Choice

photo of child making a choice using a choice board

Deciding where to play or what activity to choose can be a difficult task for some children. Sometimes there are just too many activities to choose from and it can be overwhelming for a child. As a parent, teacher or early childhood professional, your job is to teach new skills that will help your child build independence and move forward in their development. You also teach new skills to reduce frustration, promote self-esteem, and to replace behaviour that may not be the most acceptable.

For example, Hamzah has difficulty making choices. After snack time, when asked to choose an activity for play time, Hamzah does not respond and remains seated. Hamzah is using problem behaviour to tell us, “I don’t understand what I’m supposed to do, so I’m not going to do anything”. If you have a child like Hamzah, you too can teach him to make choices and expand his plays skills.

Breaking Down the Task

Though some children quickly learn skills through observing and imitating others, many children need the new skill to be broken down into smaller steps and to be allowed time to master each step in the sequence. The breaking down of complex skills into smaller parts is called task analysis. Anything we do can be broken down into smaller steps.

In our example, we want Hamzah to make a choice between two activities. We can do this by using concrete objects and eventually picture symbols. Let’s begin by breaking down the steps:

When presented with two objects (representing activities found around the room), Hamzah will:

Look at both objects.
Reach out and touch one.
Go to the place where the activity can be found.
Play with chosen activity.

Teaching the New Skill

Teaching a new skill involves preparation. Start by collecting a few materials including small objects that represent various activities that may be found around around the room. (eg. Small book, wooden block, Lego, toy care, CD, doll, sand shovel, crayon, play dough container, puzzle piece).

You can also pair a picture symbol with a real object by simply sticking it directly onto the object. This will help your child understand that the picture and object mean the same thing and eventually be able to make a choice using picture symbols only. When making visual supports remember that you can use photographs, line drawings, magazine cut-outs, or picture symbols.

In order for your child to learn the steps to a new skill, you will have to provide assistance or “prompt” along the way. A prompt is a cue or hint meant to help your child to perform a desired behaviour, skill, or part of a skill.

Start by offering a choice between two activities. When offering the choices you can say, “Want puzzle or CD?” Remember to go down to your child’s level and keep the language simple so he can understand what you are saying. Hold the object representing his favourite activity much closer to him to provide a positional prompt allowing him to look at the object, reach for it, and make a choice more easily. At first you may need to prompt him to reach out and select the object using hand-over-hand assistance. This will help your child to get familiar with this new routine and understand what is expected of him.

Gradually you’ll provide less assistance as he learns each step. The favourite object will move further away and hand-over-hand assistance to reach for the object will gradually become a tap on the elbow or shoulder, until he can do it independently without any physical support. This process is called fading – it involves gradually reducing the need, strength or level of the prompt.

It is important to follow through with every step of the sequence.

In our example, once Hamzah selects an object we will lead him directly to the activity – making sure that he follows through with the choice and has an opportunity to play. Eventually, we can fade out this support as well by just walking Hamzah to the edge of area where the activity is and letting him find the activity on his own.

Gradually you will move from choice making with real objects and to using picture symbols only. The picture symbols can be posted on a board where your child will be able to choose an activity. Picture symbols and other visual supports are great tools for expanding your child’s communication skills.

Giving Reinforcement

Reinforcement is anything that motivates or encourages a child. It is any environmental event that maintains or strengthens an action or behaviour. Praise, a special activity, music, toys and food can be used as reinforcers. Reinforcement is a reward that occurs or is given after a behaviour. It is important to motivate and reward a child who is learning a new skill. It helps the child to stay on track and understand what is required or expected.

In our example, we can reinforce Hamzah for following each step by giving him verbal praise like “Good choosing! You want _____”. Another way to motivate Hamzah to make a choice is to offer a non-preferred activity and a favourite activity. For example, we know that Hamzah does not like to play with puzzles but really enjoys the radio in the dramatic centre. By offering these two choices, Hamzah is more likely to follow through with the task because the radio/dramatic centre option is highly reinforcing. If he chooses the non-preferred activity, we will still follow through with the rest of the steps.

As Hamzah gets more comfortable performing each step, we can gradually reduce or fade the amount of reinforcement. We don’t want the reinforcement to become part of the task.

Generalizing the New Skill

You will want your child to know that this new skill can be applied in many places, with many people, and under many conditions. For some children, independently making choices at the child care centre or the home does not necessarily mean that they are going to demonstrate this skill elsewhere, or with anyone other than the care provider who taught them.

To help your child generalize this skill you can:

Have everyone teach the same skills in the same way.
Take advantage of other choice making opportunities throughout the day such as lunch time where you can offer choices between two food items.

Listening to Others

Have you ever noticed how some young children just do not seem to know how to listen to others?

When someone is talking to them, a child may not stop playing in order to look up and acknowledge the other person. He might start listening, but soon get bored and change the subject or simply turn away.

Like other social skills, the skill of “active listening” is one that some children have to be taught – step by step.

Helping your Child Become a Good Listener

As a parent, teacher or early childhood professional, you care teach your child to be a good listener using these ideas.

Talk about it
Start by talking to your child about this specific skill. Ask him questions like:
- “How can you be a good listener?”
- “What does a good/not a good listener do?”
- “How does it feel when you are talking to someone, and they are/aren’t listening to you?”
Teach
Teach your child a rule that will help him understand and use the skill. A Social Script can be helpful at this stage. It is a way of teaching children how to behave in specific social situations. It might include suggestions of specific things your child can say or do in response to the social situation.

Note: Depending on your child’s skill level, you can write a Social Script using words only, or you can add pictures or photographs to help describe each step.

Here is an example of a Social Script written to help a child learn how to “listen to others”.

Review and practice the script at least once a day with your child, especially when you first introduce it. As your child begins to understand and use the new skill, you can practice the script less often and refer back to it to remind him what to do in specific situations. It is not a good idea to try using the Social Script while the situation is happening. Instead, review it at the beginning of the day and then, when the situation actually occurs, you can remind your child of what he has learned.
Role play
Role-playing consists of acting out various social interactions that children would typically encounter. Puppets or other toys can also be used as “actors” in the role-play. Role playing teaches children the actual words they can say and the things they can do in specific situations. It also gives children an opportunity to practice these new skills with their peers.

In the beginning, you should play all the ‘parts’ to show your child what he can do or say in certain situations. You can keep him interested by using characters from his favourite television shows. Be sure to speak in an animated voice and use words that your child can understand. Try to act out situations with both positive and negative responses, as this will help your child understand that other children are not always willing to share or play with him. Here are some ideas on using role-playing to teach children listening skills.
- Model the skill
  Two or more adults model a situation in which one asks the other to join him/her in play. The specific phrases and behaviours that your child needs to learn are modeled.
- Select role players
  At first, it is best to have older children or ones who are more experienced at the skill do the role-play and have your child watch and comment. If possible, give all interested children a turn to do the role-play. It is especially important that your child who is learning the skill has a turn to be part of the role-play.
- Children do the role-play
  A small group does the role-play and the other children watch and comment. After seeing a few examples, your child can be part of the role-play, he should play many different parts in the role-play.
- Provide feedback
  Everyone can give feedback to the role-players. Remember, you are modeling how to give positive feedback. Give specific, positive feedback to all children involved in the role-play. For example, “I liked how Joshua asked Amelie if he could use some of her crayons.”
Reinforce
Tell your child that you will be watching for this skill for a week. Reinforce your child when you see him being a good listener and remember to label the behaviour that you want to see.

“Ahmed, look at how well you are listening to Tamara”. You stopped playing and looked at Tamara!”
Review
Talk about the skill for a few minutes each day so that it is fresh in your child’s mind. This also helps him understand the importance of this social skill.

Teaching your child how to be a good, active listener can be challenging and takes time. You will be most successful when you are:

PATIENT – Some children might need more reminders, more support, and more time to learn and use the skill.

CONSISTENT – Make sure that you and any other adults in your child’s life have the same expectations of the child.

POSITIVE – Remember to look for your child using the skill and reinforce him as much as possible.

Identify Skills to Teach

photo of daycare teachers showing a child a visual sequence

Setting the stage for learning and teaching new skills to help children reach a goal or be more independent in a task may seem challenging, however thinking in small steps and short-term can help.

Let’s take a look at how you can identify skills to teach.

1. Work from where you are, not from where you want to be

It is important to set a goal, or teach a skill that is within your child’s ability. Begin by looking at the child’s existing skills and abilities, or the things that they can already do. This will give you a clearer picture of your child’s strengths, interests and what they can learn next. Remember to look at skills in each of the six developmental areas:

Cognitive skills focus on thinking, problem-solving, and general knowledge (e.g., naming colours and shapes, completing puzzles).
Social and emotional skills focus on relating to other people and expressing feelings appropriately (e.g., greeting others, taking turns during play, identifying emotions, such as “happy”, “sad” or “angry”).
Gross motor skills focus on controlling the body’s larger movements (e.g., sitting, walking, rolling, throwing a ball).
Fine motor skills focus on hand-eye coordination and controlling movements of the fingers (e.g., stacking blocks, holding a crayon).
Language and communication skills focus on using spoken language (words or sounds), written, or visual language (e.g., picture symbols) to understand and to be understood by others (e.g., asking for objects, repeating words and rhymes).
Self-help skills focus on taking care of personal hygiene needs (e.g., washing hands, putting on clothing, eating with a spoon).

2. Consider how culture and identity support learning

Your child’s experiences influence and shape their development. Culturally responsive experiences help to build your child’s confidence in their own identity and help develop a sense of belonging for your child within their community.

3. Choose a single area to focus on

It is important to focus on one skill at a time and keep it simple. Teaching your child several skills at once may be overwhelming. The goal you set should be one that you your child will have the most chance of accomplishing.

4. Break the skill into smaller steps

Every skill or task can be broken down into smaller steps. This process is called Task Analysis. For example, teaching a child to “wash your hands” actually involves a number of steps including turning on the tap, getting soap, scrubbing hands, rinsing hands, and then turning off the tap. Focus on completing one step at a time until they have acquired the skill.

5. Decide how to teach

Consider how often you need to work on this skill, who will be involved, and be sure that everyone is following the same strategies.

We all learn in different ways. Children tend to use their senses (smell, taste, touch, hearing and vision) to explore and learn about their world. Think of ways to teach your child each step. You may need to use real objects, or visuals to help them understand what is expected.

Let’s take the example of teaching a child the letters of the alphabet to see how the different senses can be used.

Vision

Looking at alphabet posters
Looking at alphabet books
Looking for letters in the newspaper or magazines

Hearing

Listening to the ABC song
Singing the ABC song
Listening to and repeating nursery rhymes that mention certain letters

Touch and Movement

Touching plastic alphabet shapes
Tracing letters cut from sandpaper with fingers
Making letters out of clay

Most children will benefit from information that is presented to them in a variety of ways. For example, you may point to the letters while singing the ABC song. This teaches a child what the letters look like and how they sound.

6. Build your child’s confidence

Make sure your child has success with some part of the activity. For example, if your child has difficulty joining in play with other children, model and encourage them to play with one other child first.

7. Motivate and reinforce

Success deserves recognition! Consider your child’s interests when deciding what to use as a reward, or how to give reinforcement. Some children will respond to getting a sticker, high five, or verbal praise.

8. Set short deadlines

Set a time frame for your child to achieve this new skill. Consider how long or how much effort will be required of you and other caregivers to support learning.

9. Keep track

Once you have a plan in place, write it down and keep track of your child’s progress. You will want to see if your child is learning each step or experiencing setbacks. If there are challenges, take a look at the goal to make sure it is realistic. Consider how your child is being supported through the process. Are you allowing extra time to practice the skill? Are the adults consistent with their approach? Perhaps it is too difficult for your child to learn at this time, or they may need to learn other earlier skills to support that goal.

10. Generalize the skill

If possible, try to provide teachable moments in multiple environments with a variety of people. This will provide your child with the understanding that their skills are transferable to other situations. For example, if your child learns to wash their hands at home and can also do this at child care, this is considered a generalization of that skill. To generalize a skill:

Use similar but different items to teach the same skill (e.g., if you are teaching your child to eat with a spoon, use several different types of spoons and bowls).
Practice the skill in several different locations (e.g., at home, school, early learning and care program, a friend’s house).
Practice the skill during different times of the day, if possible.

Remember

Including others in teaching a new skill will help increase the benefit and potential for success if everyone is working towards the same goal. Be sure everyone knows what steps are being taught and how to teach them.

Children’s skills change over time. Progress can be impacted by experiences and changes in a child’s life. Remember to check in on the progress of the goal regularly and see where you are at and see if your child is ready for the next step. All children have their own way of learning. Their learning can best be nurtured when we take time, provide support and engage in thoughtful planning.

References and Web Resources

Ages and Stages. (2018). Developmental Screening Toolkit – Tips & Tools for Early Childhood Programs. Retrieved from https://agesandstages.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Dev-Screening-Toolkit-2018.pdf

Looksee Checklist, ndds., (2018). Looksee Checklist, Retrieved July 17, 2020 from https://lookseechecklist.com/en/

Developing Attention Span

Photo of child reading

Most young children have a tough time sitting still for very long periods of time. Young minds and bodies need to be kept active. However, some children are easily distracted may have a hard time focusing on one topic or activity. They may be busy watching what others are doing, distracted by their surrounding, or interested in other play materials. Children who are bored or restless sometimes do things to entertain or stimulate themselves. They may hum, play with their clothing, touch, or talk to other people around them. A child who is sensitive to sights, sounds, smells, or textures this can also lead to restlessness, or an increased need to self-stimulate.

For example, Franco needs extra visual stimulation so he twirls a piece of string in front of his eyes. When Franco is focused on watching the string, he does not pay attention to looking at the book.

Keep in mind that some children with these sensitivities may need extra support and understanding to focus and participate in activities for longer periods of time.

As a parent, teacher or early childhood professional you can answer the following questions to help you decide whether your child needs more support to participate successfully in activities. Remember that the amount of time a young child focuses on a favourite activity can vary depending on their age and developmental level.

Does he watch a favourite television show or short video from start to finish?
Does he sit and listen quietly to a short story read out loud?
Does he sit and listen to music?
Does he answer when someone calls his name?
How long can he play with a toy he enjoys?
How long does he stay in the room when favourite friends or family members are visiting?
Does he stay at the table for the entire meal?

The environment can also affect concentration and focus. Here are some suggestions on setting up the environment to help your child focus better:

Choose a quite area.
Reduce background noises by shutting the door, turning off the TV, or music.
Set up a work area with a child-size chair and small table. Parents could also use a coffee table.
Make sure your child is comfortable when sitting at the table. Support his feet if they are not touching the floor by using a stool, bench, or telephone book.
Have your child sit on the floor to do the activity if he is uncomfortable at the table. You can give them a special pillow, mat, or rug to sit on.
Use a tray or placemat to define his work space.
Make sure you have all the materials you will need so that you do not have to go searching for them once you start.
Make sure there is enough light for them to see, but not too much to be distracting.
Have them dressed in comfortable clothing – ensure they are not too cold or too warm.

Now that we have looked at some environmental factors, here is a list of “child factors” that can affect your child’s ability to focus during activities:

Feeling hungry, tired, or sick.
Not interested in the activity.
Easily distracted by something else in the room.
Needs to use the washroom.
Has physical energy he needs to ‘burn off’.
Energy level seems too low.

If you think that they are more alert and ready to learn in the morning, or perhaps after having a nap, you may want to introduce a new activity during that time period.

Encouraging Participation in Activities:

Provide your child with a signal that playtime at the table will begin. You can do this by giving him a verbal warning “Playtime”, by using a physical gesture, or by using a visual cue such as a playtime picture.
Help your child make the transition to the table by allowing him to carry a piece of the activity (e.g., a piece of the puzzle or rolling pin for the playdoh) or the picture of that activity.
Singing a transition song while physically guiding your child to the table (e.g., “Time to sit at the table” to the tune of “The Farmer in the Dell”).

Encouraging Focus During Activities:

Show your child what to do or model how to complete the activity. For example, putting in the first piece of the puzzle
Provide your child with assistance, when needed, to complete the activity. This can be a gentle hand over hand assistance or offering verbal directions.
Gradually increasing the amount of time your child is expected to sit at the table. To promote success, start with short periods of time. You can use a timer to show them how long they need to stay at the activity. Use a timer to help them understand how long the activity will be.
Help your child to finish the activity if they lose interest, or before the expected time has passed. Have him complete one more piece of the activity to finish. This keeps the activity positive for your child and teaches him that they need to follow through with the expectation.
Use toys that have a clear beginning and end, such as an insert puzzle, stacking ring or cup, shape sorter, beading, pegboards or “Mr. Potato Head”. This way your child will get quick, positive feedback for “completing” the activity. “Wow, puzzle finished”!

Here are a few more ideas you can try to help your child focus during activities:

Provide your child with a balance of active and seated activities throughout the day.
Give your child a small toy to hold if they become restless to help him remain at the activity. These are also known as “fidget toys”.
Have visuals of the rules/expectations for your child to let him know what is expected during this time (e.g., stay at the table, listen, finish puzzle).

First/then board

You may also choose to use a “First” – “Then” approach. For example tell your child (and show him by using pictures) “First puzzle” (the activity you want him to do), “Then Computer” (an activity he enjoys). This will help your child expand the length of time he spends focusing on an activity.
Reward your child for focusing on activities by offering him stickers (or something he really likes), hugs and verbal praise.

Remember that the length of time your child takes to develop the ability to focus during activities will vary. It is important to practise often, but most importantly, remember to have fun!

Giving Instructions

Set the Scene for Success by:

Setting realistic expectations for your child
Making sure he’s ready to do the task
Giving him as many cues as possible

Give the Instruction:

Give your child a warning before the instruction so he is prepared
Use your child’s name to get his attention
Get down to his eye level
State your request clearly: using brief, simple language and be positive
Use visual strategies such as gestures, photographs, objects, modelling, and picture symbols to
help your child understand
Say it once, then WAIT

After the Instruction:

Allow enough time for your child to process and understand the instruction
Be prepared to assist your child with the request if he can’t do it on his own
Always use praise and reinforcement when your child follows through

Use Reinforcement:

Reinforcement can include: social praise, toys, food, preferred activities
Consider what is motivating for your child and use that
Move toward more natural forms of reinforcement as your child becomes better at completing
the instruction

Remember: There’s a difference between reinforcement and bribery:
Reinforcement comes after the task. Bribery is offered before.
Celebrate your child’s successes!

Getting Someone’s Attention

As a parent, teacher or early childhood professional, have you ever had one of these experiences?

You are having a conversation (with another adult) and your child starts talking to you, interrupting your conversation, or perhaps yells your name from across the room.
Your child pulls at your clothes or your hand to get you to help her, or to show you something.

Most people can identify with these situations. Many young children do not know how to get someone’s attention in a polite and appropriate manner. Therefore, when they need your attention, they simply call your name or tug at you, regardless of what you may be doing at the time.

Some children also have a hard time getting another child’s attention in an appropriate way. They may hit, or yell at the other child. Children need to learn the appropriate way to get someone’s attention. Like other social skills, this skill can be taught.

Helping your Child Learn How to Get Someone’s Attention

Here are some strategies that you might find helpful in supporting your child as she learns to appropriately get someone’s attention:

Talk about it
Start by talking to your child about the specific skill. Ask her questions like:
“How can you get someone’s attention if they are talking to someone else?”, or “If Daddy is talking to Mommy, how get you get my attention?”
“How can you get someone’s attention if they are far from you?”
Teach
Teach your child a rule that will help her understand how to get someone’s attention in different situations. A Social Script can be helpful at this stage. It is a way of teaching children how to behave in specific social situations. It might include suggestions of specific things your child can say or do in response to the social situation.

Note: Depending on your child’s skill level, you can write a Social Script using words only, or you can add pictures or photographs to help describe each step.

Here is an example of a Social Script written to help a child learn how to “get someone’s attention”:

When I want to talk to someone, I:
Stand close to them and tap them gently on the shoulder
Say their name
Wait for them to look at me
Talk to them
Role-Playing
Give your child an opportunity to practise the skill by doing a role play or puppet show. In the beginning, you should play all the ‘parts’ to show your child what she can do or say in certain situations. You can keep her interested by using characters from her favourite television shows. Be sure to speak in an animated voice and use words that your child can understand.Try to act out situations with both positive and negative responses, as this will help your child understand what could happen in different situations.

Here are some examples:

Scenario 1

Maisy is reading a book.

Charley walks towards her and says, “Maisy.”. (He waits for her to respond)

Maisy says, “Yes, Charley”.

Charley says, “Maisy, look at my picture. Do you like it?”

Scenario 2

Maisy is reading a book.

Charley is across the room and yells, “Maisy, Maisy! (He does not wait for her to respond)

Charley comes running towards Maisy and says, “Maisy, look at my picture. Do you like it?”

Maisy is angry because she was interrupted.
Reinforce
Tell your child that you will be watching for this skill for a week. Reinforce your child when you see her following the steps to getting someone’s attention and remember to label the behaviour that you want to see.“Wow! I just saw you get close to Gina, say her name, and wait. You got Gina’s attention without interrupting.”
Review
Talk about the skill for a few minutes each day so that it is fresh in your child’s mind. This also helps her understand the importance of this social skill.

Teaching your child ways to appropriately get someone’s attention can be challenging and takes time. You will be most successful when you are:

PATIENT – Some children might need more reminders, more support, and more time to learn and use the skill.

CONSISTENT – Make sure that you and any other adults in your child’s life have the same expectations of the child.

POSITIVE – Remember to look for your child using the skill and reinforce her as much as possible.

Getting Ready for Kindergarten

“Bye Dad, see you later.” The first day your child goes to kindergarten can be both exciting and anxiety-filled, for you, as well as for your child. Knowing what your child will be doing in kindergarten and preparing him for this big step will ease the transition and focus his attention on the positive.

In Kindergarten, your child will:

make choices (e.g., choosing activities and materials to use)
share activities and space with other children
be asked to dress independently
be exposed to new people, routines and activities
have calendar/circle time with the group when he will be asked to sit on the floor and listen to the teacher
tell other children and adults what he wants or needs
use materials for writing (e.g., crayons, markers) and see other children and adults, write too
learn about the world around him
learn about colours, shapes, patterns, sorting, numbers, and letters
have opportunities to create pictures, structures, music, and songs
use different equipment to develop large and small muscles

Now that you know a bit about what your child will be learning and what may be expected of him, you can help prepare him for kindergarten by doing some of the following activities at home:

Give your child choices (e.g., foods to eat, clothes to wear, activities to do). You can use actual objects, or a visual choice board to help your child make choices.
Set up times for your child to be with other children and try to encourage turn-taking with different activities or games.
Help your child learn to wait. Count out loud or use your fingers to help your child understand how long he has to wait. If your child can count, encourage him to join in. For example, “One…two…three… It’s Adam’s turn!” Fidget toys can be used to help a child during waiting times. Your child can play with a small toy figurine, or piece of clay while waiting for his turn – this is a great way to keep him busy. If your child uses fidget toys at home or in the community, be sure to let his teacher know the information when he starts school.
Help your child learn to sit on the floor for short periods of time to get ready for calendar and circle time. Sit on the floor with your child and sing songs using props, such as a stuffed animal, or read a book. You can also take your child to an Ontario Early Years Centre, or the library for song/story circles to prepare him for this experience.
Practise self-help skills with your child such as dressing (e.g., putting on coats, snow pants, boots), cleaning up after snack time, hand washing and toileting routines.
Encourage your child to communicate his wants and needs, such as asking for help, asking for an activity, or going to the washroom. Your child may use words, sign language or picture symbols.
Practice preprinting activities with your child, such as beading (on a straw, pipe cleaner, or string), peg boards and lacing activities.
Read books to your child, talk about pictures, words, and letters.
Talk to your child about seasons, weather, growth and things he sees outdoors when on a walk or trip.
Do sorting activities with your child, such as sorting objects or clothing by colour and shape.
Talk about colours, shapes, numbers, letters in your child’s life (e.g., “See the red car “, ”The cookie is a circle shape”, ”You have 2 beads”).
Build with your child using a variety of materials such Lego, wooden blocks, tinker toys, or items found around your home like plastic cups or empty cereal boxes.
Help your child build large muscle coordination by rolling, throwing, and kicking a ball. You can also take your child to the playground for exercise and sing active songs such as “Hokey Pokey” or “Shake Your Sillies Out”.

As a parent, you are your child’s most important teacher. By preparing your child for kindergarten and continuing to work on these skills can help make his experience at school more successful.

Sources

This information has been adapted from the Toronto District School Board and the Toronto Catholic District School Board “Getting ready for Kindergarten” pamphlet.

Getting Dressed

Photo of parent putting tshirt on child

Learning to get dressed or undressed is a big step towards independence for every child. Often times, when young children struggle while putting on their shoes, hat, or jacket, we are quick to jump up and help them.

Most preschool and kindergarten age children need some help with getting dressed. As a parent, teacher or early childhood professional you will need to make sure you have plenty of time and patience when teaching your child dressing skills.

Is he struggling with the task or trying to figure things out?

While some children will ask for help when they need it, others may struggle in silence. Let’s use the example of a child who is trying to put on his boots and determine whether he is truly struggling with the task, or simply trying to “figure things out”.

He is probably trying to “figure things out” if he:

Appears to be talking himself through the process (e.g., “Foot in boot.”).
Is testing different solutions to the problem such as taking his foot out of a boot if it doesn’t fit properly and trying the other boot.

He is probably struggling if he:

Appears angry or frustrated.
Looks from shoe to boot without taking any action.
Repeatedly does something incorrectly such as putting the right foot into the boot shaped for the left foot.
Looks at, or gestures to those around him for help.

Deciding what to teach

Here are some questions to help you decide which dressing skills to focus on with your child:

Does he know which clothing fits which body part?
Can he tell when clothing has been put on backwards or inside out?
Does he know how to put on or take off clothing in the right order?
Can he take off clothing?
Can he put on clothing?
Can he attach clothing using Velcro, zippers, or buttons?

In general, children learn how to take off clothing before they learn to put it on. Also, most children learn dressing skills that require movement of the large muscles (e.g., arms and legs) before ones that require precise movements of the hands and the fingers. Pulling pants up or down is easier than zipping them up!

How to promote independent dressing and undressing

Most children show an interest in dressing/undressing themselves and will feel proud of their abilities and accomplishments in this area.

When helping your child get dressed, provide him with opportunities to participate, follow his lead, and describe your actions.

Here are some suggestions to build independence:

Begin with the easiest clothing to put on and take off, such as hat, socks, shoes, or pants.
Talk about each step of the process. Be sure to emphasize body and clothing words. For example, you can hold out a shirt and say, “Joey, put your arms out. Now, you can put your shirt on. That’s right, one arm at a time!”
Verbally praise your child for each step he accomplishes – “Good work taking your shoes off!”
Encourage your child to sit down to complete the steps. This may provide more stability while dressing or undressing.
Break the skill into smaller steps and teach one step at a time. This process is known as Task Analysis – you’ll find more details in the For More Information box at the end of this tip sheet.
Use visuals, such as pictures to show the sequence of steps that your child can follow.
If possible, place a mirror in the dressing area so that your child can watch themselves as they put on the clothing.

You can also encourage your child to dress independently by practising dressing skills with fun activities.

Young children love to dress up in adult clothing and pretend to be ‘grown-up’. This is a fun and creative way for your child to practise putting on and taking off clothing. The larger clothing will be easier for him to put on. Just make sure that it is not too long for him to trip over.
Use a doll to show your child where clothing goes on the body and how to put it on. Let him practise dressing and undressing the doll without help.
Button Train – Cut a few train shapes out of coloured pieces of felt. Take half of the train shapes and sew a large button onto the back end of each one. Take the rest of the train shapes and make a vertical cut on the front end of each one. The cut should be just wide enough for the button to pass through. Show your child how to ‘button’ together the train.

Tips for Parents

For many young children clothing is a way to express themselves. While this is wonderful, it can be a challenge when you are trying to get your child ready for school in the morning. Some children may insist on wearing the same t-shirt day after day. Others may insist on wearing ‘dressy clothing’ to school.

You can involve your child in his dressing routine by grouping together outfits and allowing him to choose one to wear each day. This provides him with a choice and ensures that he is wearing clothing that is suitable for school and the weather. Some parents prefer to lay out an outfit the night before.

If your home has the room, you can set up an area for your child’s outerwear (e.g., jacket, scarf, hat) and backpack near the doorway. Put a small mat on the floor for shoes and attach hooks to the wall for a backpack and coat. Place a picture of a coat and backpack underneath the hooks to remind your child to hang them up. During the winter, you can add a bin for a hat or scarf. Your child may find it easier to identify his belongings and practise dressing if he has his own space. If possible, place a mirror at your child’s level so he can watch as he puts the clothes on.

Children who are learning to dress themselves need more time to get ready in the morning. When choosing your child’s outfits for school/child care, think of what he can easily do on his own and with what items he needs help. It is also helpful to keep in mind what clothing he might have to remove at school/child care. A shirt with buttons is OK but pants with buttons may be difficult for your child to undo in a hurry when he needs to use the washroom.

Take a look at the following ideas for “child-friendly” clothing:

Tops

Snap buttons are easier to use than regular buttons.
If buttons are difficult for your child to manipulate, stick to shirts and sweaters that he can pull on and off.
Sweaters or light shirts with a ‘half-zip’ at the neck are easier for your child to pull over his head because they have a large neck opening.

Bottoms

Choose pants or skirts with elastic waistbands.
Choose pants that fasten with Velcro.
‘Cargo’ pants that have several pockets make it easy for your child to carry a communication book or ‘fidget’ toy with him.

Outerwear

Tie a colourful ribbon or zipper pull to the zipper on your child’s coat. This will make it easier for him to pull the zipper up and down.
Attach mittens to a string and feed it through the arms of your child’s coat. This way he will not lose the mittens.
A coat with a hood is useful if your child tends to pull off or forget his hat.
A coat that zips all the way up to the chin is good if your child does not like the feeling of a scarf against his neck.

Shoes

Shoes that can easily be slipped on or fastened with Velcro instead of laces are practical in the winter when children need to take off their boots when they get to school or child care. You can also buy curly shoelaces that don’t need to be tied.

Sensitivities

If your child is sensitive to temperature changes, dress him in layers that can be removed easily. For example, a T-shirt, with a cardigan on top.
If your child is sensitive to touch, cut the labels out of his clothing and make sure there are no loose threads. Try to avoid sending him to school in new clothing in case the fabric is irritating.

* If your child has a physical disability that makes it difficult for him to move, grasp, or pull, you may want to speak to an Occupational Therapist (O.T.). An O.T. can provide you with information on techniques and devices that will make it easier for your child to dress himself.

The road to independence can sometimes be rocky, but setting small, realistic goals can make it smoother for both you and your child.

References:

Cook, R.; Tessier, A.; Klein, D. (2000) Adapting Early Childhood Curricula In Inclusive Settings. Fifth Ed., Prentice Hall Inc.

Everyday Opportunities to Practice Turn Taking

Young children often find it difficult to wait for a turn to use a toy or participate in an activity they enjoy. To a three year old, even a one-minute long wait can feel like forever. Learning to take turns is an important skill that your child will need to learn to be most successful at home, child care and school.

Here are some strategies to try to teach your child about turn taking:

Turns for Two

Start introducing the idea of waiting for a turn to your child during play. Construction, or ‘cause-and-effect’ toys and activities help your child understand when a turn is over. A “Jack in the Box” is an example of a cause and effect toy. When you press the button Jack pops out of his box.

Block Building – Put some building blocks, or Lego in a bin or pile on the floor. Start building a block tower by taking turns to add a block to the tower. You can say the number or colour of the blocks being added to help your child learn to count and name colours as well.
Lots of Dots – Share a marker or bingo dabber with your child and take turns making dots on a page. If your child needs support in waiting for his turn, try counting the number of dots each person gets to make during a turn. For a challenge, take turns finding and highlighting a letter in magazine or newspaper articles. For example, “Let’s find all the A’s. First it will be my turn. Then it will be Lara’s turn.”
Computer Games – Take turns playing the “Farm Animal Sounds” game in Just for Kids section of Learning Together. Take turns clicking on the mouse. For example, “Jay, it’s your turn! Can you find the cow?”
Train – If you have a toy train set take turns connecting pieces of the track. When the track is completed, you can take turns pushing the train along the tracks.
Make Some Noise! – This is a great activity for music lovers! Create a shaker by pouring some beads or rice in a plastic water bottle. Seal the top of the bottle (you can use tape if you don’t want your child to open it easily). Play some upbeat music and take turns shaking it. Develop your child’s counting skills by passing the shaker after a certain number of shakes.
Board Games – If your child has a longer attention span, simple board games such as “Candyland” are a great way to practise taking turns. If he can count, you can try “Snakes and Ladders”.

Once your child is comfortable taking short turns with you, encourage him to play turn taking games with siblings or friends.

Helping Children Wait

Young children are still developing their sense of time. They need help to understand how long “soon”, or “in a minute” really is without having to read a clock. Here are some strategies that can help your child understand how long a turn will be:

Timers – A sand timer can be used with very short turns. When all the sand falls to the bottom your child will know it is his turn. You can set a kitchen timer for a few seconds or minutes. When the buzzer sounds it is time for your child’s turn.
Counting – Count out loud or use your fingers. If your child can count, encourage him to join in. For example, “One…two…three… It’s Adam’s turn!”
Music – Play or sing a short song for your child. When the song is over, it will be his turn. You can also recite a short nursery rhyme.
Quiet Activity – Children who often become restless or impatient while waiting for others may be directed to do a quiet activity on their own such as looking at a book.
‘Fidget’ Toy – Your child can play with a small toy or piece of clay while waiting for his turn. This is a helpful way to keep your child busy when you need to wait.

Communicating Turns

Try to emphasize the word “turn” during daily routines at home. For example, “Sally is riding the bike. Next, it will be David’s turn.” Your child will soon understand that a turn means he has to wait until another person is finished using or doing something before he can use or do the same thing.

Use a combination of speech, gestures, and pictures to help your child learn to use the following expressions:

“My turn” Pointing to his chest.
Pointing to the “my turn” picture in his communication book.

Practise saying the words.
“Your turn”Pointing to or gently touching the hand of the other person.
Passing a toy to the other person.

Pointing to the “your turn” picture in his communication book.

Practise saying the words.
Flip Card – You can create a special card to help your child during turn taking. Take a cue card, or small piece of construction paper and glue your child’s picture to one side. On the other side, glue a picture of the person he is taking turns with. You can show whose turn it is by placing the card on the table. For example, Magid’s picture is on one side of the card and Amal’s picture is on the other. When Magid’s turn is finished, he flips the card over so Amal’s can see his picture and know it is his turn.

When it is your turn, model what to do by pointing to yourself and saying, “My turn.” Another adult or older child can coach your child to communicate when it is his turn. This person can guide your child (from behind) and move his arm into position to point to himself and/or softly tell him what to say.

With practice and support, your child will be more ready to wait for his turn.

Encouraging Positive Behaviour

Prevent the behaviour

Many problem behaviours can be prevented by making the behaviour irrelevant or not important. You can do this by changing the antecedent conditions – the things that happen right before the behaviour. Here are some suggestions:

Plan smooth transitions – When changing from one activity to another give your child plenty of warning. Try using visuals, such as pictures to help your child understand what activity or event is coming next.
Reduce waiting times – Young children can get restless when having to wait for a long time. When it is unavoidable, like waiting in line at the supermarket, bring a small toy for your child to play with, a book to read, or play a game like “Peek-a-Boo”.
Set simple rules – Setting rules ahead of time and reviewing them regularly will help your child understand what to do and what to expect. Be clear and consistent about what the rules are and the reasons for them.
Give clear instructions – Get down to your child’s level and speak in clear, simple words that let your child know exactly what you want him to do. Using gestures and visuals can also help your child understand.
Reduce distractions – Many things, such as sounds, too many toys, television, or people can distract your child and lead to lack of focus. Take note of the things that are happening in the environment when problem behaviour occurs. Sometimes taking away or reducing a distraction can lead to greater success.
Provide choices – Making a choice can help build your child’s self-esteem and reduce the likelihood of a power struggle. You will need to decide on and prepare the choices in advance. It is best to start with only two choices and gradually add more. A visual “choice board” can help you to organize this by creating pictures that represent all the “choices”.

Teach new skills or alternative behaviour

Many problem behaviours can also be made inefficient, or have no value for your child. You can do this by teaching an alternative to the behaviour (a more appropriate behaviour), such as teaching your child to ask for help instead of climbing furniture to reach a toy.

Begin by gathering information
- Try to find the reason for your child’s behaviour – Why does he do that? You can use the ABC Assessment Chart to help you gather information about the problem behaviour including what happens before the behaviour, what the behaviour is, and what happens afterwards. Check out the For More Information box at the end of this document for details.
- Consider what you want your child to be doing instead of the problem behaviour. What will give him the same pay-off or result, but is more acceptable? What skills might help him to cope better with difficult situations?
Select the right alternative behaviour

The key is to introduce a new skill, or alternative behaviour that:
- serves the same function or reason as the problem behaviour
- is simple or easy for your child to do

Best teaching strategies should be used

Break new skills down into small steps, and then teach each step. This is also known as Task Analysis. Check out the For More Information box at the end of this document for further details.
Model the desired or appropriate behaviour for your child.
Use visual supports, such as pictures, to help teach the steps.
Reinforce your child for using the new skill or appropriate behaviour. Give him lots of verbal praise, or a special toy to play with.

Change the Results

Many problem behaviours can be made ineffective, or not successful for your child by changing the consequences. The consequences are things that happen after the behaviour.

Catch your child doing something right
- Find genuine occasions to reinforce your child for his positive behaviour (e.g., “Wow, Jamal! Good tidying up your toys!”).
- Find reinforcements (e.g., verbal praise, preferred objects or activities) that will really motivate your child to use positive or alternative behaviours.
Respond to problem behaviour by:
- Ignoring the behaviour (unless it could harm people or property).
- Re-direct your child to another activity.
- Use “no” carefully. Say “no” only when it is critical that your child stop the behaviour immediately.

TIPS FOR PARENTS TO REMEMBER

Behaviour change takes time and effort

It takes time to make changes so don’t expect immediate success.
Often, behaviour gets worse before it gets better. This can be the most difficult stage of changing your child’s behaviour.
Be consistent and stick to your plan.
Make sure that all the people who interact with your child use the same plan and strategies.

Reward the right behaviour(s)

Know what appropriate behaviour you want to reward.
Don’t make promises or threats that cannot be followed through.
Make sure the consequence is clear to your child.

Pick your battles

Don’t overwhelm your child by creating too much change at one time.
Select the most important behaviour and work on that first.
Ask for support if you need it.

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