- When requesting your child’s attention, call your child by name.
- Move to your child’s eye level. Touch your child to gain attention and to express affection/interest in your child’s feelings.
- Find something specific that’s unique about your child and tell her everyday.
- If your child is seeking your attention, look at your child and listen to your child.
- Behaviour is often a form of communication. Try to provide a more appropriate form of communication (i.e. a gesture, a sound, a word or a picture) to replace the behaviour.
- Give your child a choice of activities when possible. (Develops self-esteem, feelings of responsibility).
- Expectations need to be within the child’s developmental level.
- Be consistent and clear about expectations. If you have an expectation, follow through on the expectation with your child.
- Try to prevent a problem (for example: if you know your child has difficulty with transitions, prepare your child for a transition before it occurs;i.e. verbally, with concrete objects and with pictures).
- Talk and explain reasons for expectations to the child.
- Ignore inappropriate behaviour when possible.
- When possible, redirect the child to another more appropriate activity. (For example, if your child is throwing blocks, redirect him to building a tower.)
- Model the actions you want your child to imitate.
- If you are upset, describe the behaviour you would like to extinguish, the behaviour you would prefer and when appropriate, how you feel. (For example: “You may not play baseball in the living room. Baseball games belong outside or in the basement.”)
- Use logical consequences. (This helps children make the link between behaviour and results. The consequence is related to what the child has done. For example: If the child throws the toys, remove the toys for a while).
- Always praise your child for success.
- Avoid linking affection/love with behavioural expectations.