Developing Positive Self-Esteem in Your Child
- Give your child hugs/kisses throughout the day. These should not be contingent on behavioural expectations.
- Take time for fun, nurturing activities with your child. Examples include lotioning activities (place body lotion on your child’s hands/feet), massaging activities (gently massage your child’s hands/arms, feet/legs) or people games:Row Row Your Boat, Round and Round the Garden, Ring around the Rosie, etc.
- Read your child books that promote a positive self-concept (e.g. “I Like Me” by Nancy Carlson).
- Make your child his own special labelled photograph book, emphasizing activities in his day that he likes and does well.
- Give your child responsibilities, based on her abilities and developmental level. This will develop her self-esteem and confidence in her abilities (e.g. tidy up activities, have her set napkins on the table, clear plates)
- Give your child choices when possible and when appropriate, follow your child’s lead.
- Keep your directions simple and developmentally appropriate for your child’s understanding to encourage success (e.g. two word directions:”Tidy up”). Always pair the directions with your child’s name. (e.g. “Girpal, tidy up”)
- Get down to your child’s eye level when speaking to your child or when she is communicating with you.
- Set your child up for success. Alternate challenging new activities with activities your child likes and can complete independently. Begin with one challenging activity followed by the well-liked activity. Use a first/then board to help your child understand the sequence.
- Break down challenging activities into smaller tasks.(e.g. for stringbeading activities, your child might learn the activity first with a straw and large beads).
- For challenging activities, initially keep the activity short (e.g. your child only has to place two beads on the straw) .
- Model new or challenging activities for your child. Use visual supports (e.g. concrete objects, labelled photographs or pictures) to help your child understand an activity, succeed at the activity and work towards independence.
- Comment on your child’s specific actions (e.g. “good beading”) rather than using general comments (e.g.” good girl”).
- Praise your child for all his efforts.
- If your child engages in an inappropriate behaviour (e.g. hitting), comment on the specific action and your behavioural expectation (e.g. “no hitting”). Teach your child the behaviour the you want instead (e.g. “touch gently”). Model the appropriate action and help your child use this action. Use visual supports (e.g. picture symbols, social stories) to help your child learn.
- Always prepare your child for transitions. Use verbal language (labelling the upcoming transition, singing a consistent song about the specific transition), visual cues (concrete objects, labelled pictures) and auditory cues (a timer if appropriate) to develop your child’s comfort and ability to move throughout his day successfully.
