Evi, I’m a parent as well, so I understand the panic and despair all too well (not that that’s much help, I know). First, and you probably already know this, be sure you tell DSO the full extent of your situation – tell them often. I don’t think there’s a lot of point in telling them in advance, no matter how obvious it is that you will be in in desperate straits upon your daughter’s graduation, but you need to tell them explicitly once that situation arises. Will money magically appear? No, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t keep in touch with them, being sure they know of every event and circumstance. Also, make sure your daughter is on the list for direct funding, and for person-directed planning. Request a copy of the information they are using to match your daughter to any programs that might open up at some time in the future – I found that some of the information in my son’s record was completely wrong – again, that doesn’t mean she’ll be put in a program, but if the information isn’t correct, any matches that might arise in the future won’t be appropriate.

The only other practical advice I can share is to try to make as many connections as you can with other families – are there any other parents, for example, in your daughter’s graduating class that might be able to pool resources with you to arrange transportation, or to share the cost of a support worker? Anyone you know from any other activities you or she take part in who might be in a similar situation? Personally I think the education system is incapable of doing transition planning, but you should talk to them too, maybe they can suggest a connection you haven’t thought of.

Sorry if this isn’t any use – I feel that one of the many ways the system fails parents is that it encourages us to remain in our individual silos rather than facilitating collaborative thinking and action. I believe Plan Toronto (now called Partners for Planning) can help build a “circle of support” in the community (I know, I can hear your eyes rolling, but desperate times call for desperate measures). Or if not that, do you have a friend who can help you brainstorm some ideas and work through some alternatives? I can’t imagine having been on the journey of raising a son with ASD on my own, but even with two of us we often find ourselves not able to think, if you’ll excuse the cliche, out of the box.

And yes, many of us are contemplating selling our homes and moving to less expensive parts of the province, as extreme as that sounds. I’m not sure we have a choice.