What is mindfulness?

Mindfulness is the practice of being present and fully engaged in the moment, free from distractions, judgment, and aware of our thoughts and feelings. Participating in mindfulness helps us become more aware of sensory input from the environment around us and how our body feels.

Why teach children mindfulness? 

Practicing mindfulness with children can provide them with the strategies they need to help control their emotions, slow down, calm themselves and focus. Through mindfulness, children may develop greater awareness of their emotional, body and sensory experiences. Mindfulness can be a powerful tool in helping manage anxiety and impulsivity, and can improve listening, creativity and respect for self and others.

Mindfulness activities, when practiced together, can strengthen the relationship between an adult and child.

Activities that support mindfulness with children

Infants and toddlers

• Sing songs, lullabies and nursery rhymes throughout the day to your baby.  
• Massage your baby gently before a nap or 45 minutes after a feeding. Start at your baby’s stomach and work your way to their head, neck, shoulders, legs and feet.
• Eye gaze with your baby while saying “I am” affirmations. For example, “I am safe”, “I am confident”, “I am loved”, “I am calm”, “I am beautiful”.

Young children

• Practice focused breathing using your child’s favourite stuffed toys as visual aids. In a relaxed position on the floor, place a toy on your abdomen and on your child’s abdomen. Take three deep breaths, breathing in and out through your nose, while saying ‘blow’ or ‘smell’ to help the child understand the actions. Show your child how the toy rises and falls as they take the breaths. Practice ‘blowing’ bubbles, pinwheels or ‘smelling’ food at other times to familiarize your child with focused breathing.  
• Talk about sensory experiences with your child. Draw your child’s attention to what you and your child see, hear, smell, taste and touch in simple words. For example, when baking cookies, ask your child to ‘smell the cookies’.
• Yoga incorporated into your child’s daily routine can be enjoyable and relaxing. Teach simple yoga poses such as downward dog, rag doll, and mountain pose (select the yoga poses that match your child’s ability).
• Go on mindful walks and during the walk, talk about what you see, hear, smell and feel while in the natural environment. For example, if you pick up a smooth stone and you both feel it and talk about its smoothness and shape, you are focusing your attention to the present moment.
• Yoga balloon. Sit on the floor with your child. Cross your legs and keep your back straight. Place the palms of your hands together at the centre of your chest.  Breathe in slowly and deeply through your nose, raising your arms above your head in the shape of a big balloon. Breathe out slowly through your mouth and bring your arms back down so that your palms are together again at the centre of your chest.

School age children

• Guided meditation videos are helpful when learning calming techniques, such as body scanning and muscle relaxation. Many videos are available for you to source on the internet based on your child’s ability. 
• Listen to bell activity uses a bell, chime, triangle or an app that imitates the sound of a bell to focus your child’s attention on a single source of sensory input. Ring the bell in a slow, quiet, rhythmic way and ask your child to focus on the sound and keep their eyes closed until they no longer hear the sound. 
• Heartbeat exercises can help your child with body awareness. Start by engaging in an activity that increases heart rate, such as jumping jacks, jumping on the spot, or running. After completing the exercise, sit together with your eyes closed and hands placed on your heart. Encourage your child to notice their heartbeat and how the rate slows down as they rest. 
• Mind in a jar activity can help your child to focus and be calm. You will need a jar with a tight lid, water and glitter.  Explain that the jar represents your child’s head, the water their mind and the glitter their thoughts, worries, and memories. Shake the jar and tell your child this is how your mind (water) is when you are thinking or worrying about several things. Set the jar down and watch how the glitter settles and the water becomes clear. Talk about how, while their thoughts are calm and quiet at the bottom of the jar, their mind is clear and they are focused. 
• Use the acronym STOP to teach your child the core components of mindfulness: Stop what your are doing, press the pause button on your thoughts and actions, Take a few deep breaths to centre yourself and bring yourself fully into the present moment, Observe what is going on with your body, emotions and mind, and Proceed with whatever you were doing, making a conscious, intentional choice to incorporate what you just learned.  
• Positive affirmation is anything good you say or think about yourself. Teach your child to describe themselves in positive ways using ‘I’ statements, such as “I am smart”, “I am focused”, “I am strong”, and “I am proud of myself.” You can make a dice game by pasting positive affirmation ‘fill in the blank’ statements, such as, “I am good at…” on a square box or large die. Take turns rolling the die and complete the sentence.
• Gratitude statements are thoughts about things for which you are grateful. Throughout the day you and your child can talk about what you are grateful for. For example, “I’m grateful for the time I spend at the park with my brother.”
• Mindful journaling helps your child reflect on their thoughts, feelings and experiences.  You can help by using mindfulness journaling prompts, such as, “I remember when I used balloon breath to feel better when I couldn’t ride my bike”. 

Remember

Caregivers, family members and early learning professionals share a role in helping children find ways to be present and aware of their thoughts and feelings. Working together as a team to establish common goals will have the greatest impact on your child’s development and well-being.

Remember that practicing mindfulness your self is equally important. When you understand and use mindfulness techniques, your child will learn from you.

“In today’s rush, we all think too much—seek too much—want too much—and forget about the joy of just being.”- Eckhart Tolle

References and web resource links

Ackerman, C. E., (2020). 25 Fun Mindfulness Activities for Children and Teens, Retrieved July 17, 2020 from: https://positivepsychology.com/mindfulness-for-children-kids-activities/

Clemmer, C., (2020). Ease Your Anxious Child: 6 Simple Mindfulness Exercises to Try Today, Retrieved July 17, 2020 from: https://www.mother.ly/child/ease-your-anxious-child-6-simple-mindfulness-exercises-to-try-today

Halloran, J., (2016). Simple Ways to Introduce Mindfulness and Meditation to Children, Retrieve July 17, 2020 from: https://copingskillsforkids.com/blog/simple-ways-to-introduce-mindfulness-and-meditation-to-children

Landis, J., (2020). Simple Activities to Help Toddlers Develop Mindfulness, Retrieved July 17, 2020 from: http://www.momentsaday.com/help-toddlers-develop-mindfulness/

Lyness, D., Reviewer, (2017). Mindfulness Exercises, Retrieved July 17, 2020 from: https://kidshealth.org/en/kids/mindful-exercises.html

Marcin, A., (2020). Teaching Your Child Mindfulness, Retrieved July 17, 2020 from: https://www.healthline.com/health/childrens-health/mindfulness-for-kids#infants

Newman, M., (2020). Mindfulness Practices Help Regulate You and Your Baby, Retrieved July 17, 2020 from: https://www.lamaze.org/Giving-Birth-with-Confidence/GBWC-Post/mindfulness-practices-help-regulate-you-and-your-baby-1

Rogers, S., (2017). A Mindfulness Practice for Preschoolers that Connects Preschoolers to Nature, Retrieved July 17, 2020 from: https://www.mindful.org/mindfulness-practice-preschoolers-connects-kids-nature/

Scaccia, A., (2018). Your Guide to Baby Massage, Retrieved July 17, 2020 from: https://www.healthline.com/health/parenting/baby-massage

Brought to you by Every Child Belongs

Feelings of grief may be caused by a traumatic event such as death, illness, or divorce. Experiences of discrimination due to racism, ableism, classism, and other stereotypes or biases can also create grief and loss responses in children.  These types of experiences can be direct or indirect. As an adult, it is our role to provide a supportive and empathetic response to help children cope with grief.

Signs of grief and loss in children

It is important to recognize the signs and potential causes of grief and loss experienced by a child and take steps to help them cope.

Children may:

• experience grief and loss differently than adults
• experience fluctuating grief; it may seem to come and go
• understand and cope with grief in different ways as they develop
• experience the loss multiple times as they mature

Children use a variety of ways to communicate how they feel as they try to understand and cope.  Children’s understanding of an experience that creates a sense of grief will also vary depending on the child’s age, developmental level, and the support they receive.

It is not uncommon for children to express their grief through: 

• Using language and making comments that seem out of context
• Lack of an emotional response or display of extreme emotions
• Sensitivity, irritability or being easily frustrated
• Changes in well-established skills and routines (e.g., eating, toileting)
• Nightmares or sleep problems
• Recurrent physical symptoms such as headaches or stomach aches for reasons other than medical
• Sudden and marked decrease in appetite
• Difficulty calming when upset
• Over-dependence on parent/main caregiver, unusual separation anxiety, or seeking additional attention and/or comfort
• Inability to concentrate or finish common tasks
• Lack of interest in activities that were previously considered enjoyable
• Withdrawing or showing little interest in social interactions with others
• Unexpected or unfounded fears

Working through feelings of grief and loss together

You may also be experiencing grief and loss at the same time. Recognizing your feelings and taking steps to manage your own wellness is equally important as helping your child. 

Your child may ask the same questions repeatedly to make sense of difficult information.  This is because children cannot reflect on their own thoughts and emotions like adults and may need information repeated to them several times.  When supporting your child:

• Give them the attention they need in the moment
• Offer affection and reassurance that they are loved and cared for
• Use simple, concrete words and descriptions (i.e., “dead” or “died” instead of “loss” or “passed away”) to talk about what you and your child are experiencing
• Help then recognize, label and talk about emotions.  Let them know that grief typically involves a range of emotions, including anger, guilt, and frustration, and that all their feelings are valid and accepted
• Make sure they have access to play materials such as puppets, dolls or action figures to express their feelings or engage in role-playing games
• Read books about grief and loss or make a personal story to support coping with the experience
• Help them to write in a journal or draw a picture about their experience
• Use natural opportunities to discuss experiences. For example, when you see a dead bug or plant, give factual and brief information such as “The ladybug is not alive anymore, it died.  When a living thing dies, they do not feel anything anymore.”
• Respond using a soothing voice and gestures to comfort them 
• Include your child in your family and cultural practices during the grieving process
• Offer a favourite toy or activity to help comfort your child. Spend some time with them in that activity
• Allow flexibility in your routine. If your child is upset, give them extra time to regulate their feelings 

Answering your child’s questions

Your child may make up their own narrative about what is happening if they are not provided with simple and clear information.  For example, the term “sick” when used to describe terminal cancer might cause confusion, and a child may be worried that all sicknesses result in death.  Use concrete words and avoid confusing phrases when talking about the situation or event that has triggered the grief. For example, statements like “he passed away” or “we lost the dog” are unclear and could be misinterpreted by the child.

Consider the following:

• Ask for clarification if you are unsure of what your child is saying or asking
• Ensure you have your child’s attention before you speak directly to them
• Consider their level of understanding and their temperament
• Only give as much information as is necessary
• Children may ask the same questions often to make sense of difficult information and may need information about the situation repeated several times.
• It’s okay to say you do not know and will try to find the answer

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Definitions

Grief is the response to loss that includes thoughts, behaviours, emotions and physiological changes.  If the loss is permanent, the grief will also be permanent; but it changes as a person adapts to the loss.

Acute grief may occur in the early period after a loss. Strong feelings of yearning, longing and/or sorrow are typical. 

Integrated grief is a lasting form of grief in which loss-related thoughts, feelings and behaviours are integrated into a person’s ongoing functioning; the grief may have a place in the person’s life without dominating it.

Complicated grief is a persistent form of intense grief in which negative thoughts and behaviours and/or preoccupation are present.

Adapting to loss entails accepting the reality of the loss, including its finality, consequences and changed relationships; adapting means seeing the future as holding possibilities.

Collective grief is felt by a group. For example, this could be experienced by a whole community as with a global pandemic.

Children’s literature

• Brown & Brown. (1996). When Dinosaurs Die:  A Guide to Understanding Death.   New York, NY:  Little, Brown & Company.
• Thomas, J., & Dale, U. J. (2012). What does dead mean? – a book for young children to help explain death and. Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
• Mellonie, Bryan & Robert Ingpen. (1983). Lifetimes:  The beautiful way to explain death to children.  Toronto, ON:  Bantam Books.
• Munsch, Robert. (2003). Lighthouse – A Story of Remembrance.  Vancouver, BC:  North Winds Press.
• DiSalvo, DyAnne. (1999). A Dog Like Jack.  New York, NY:  Holiday House.
• Heegaard, Marge. (1991). When Something Terrible Happens.  Salt Lake City, UT:  Woodland Press.
• Palmer, Pat. (2004). “I wish I could hold your hand…” – A Child’s Guide to Grief and Loss.  Oakland, CA:  Impact Publishers, Inc.
• Thomas, Pat. (2001). I Miss You.  New York, NY:  Barron’s Educational Series.
• Silverman, Janis. (1999). Help Me Say Goodbye:  Activities for Helping Kids When a Special Person Dies.  Toronto, ON:  Fairview Press.

Websites and resource links

• Bereaved Families of Ontario – Toronto: Support for a person, family or group dealing with grief from the death of a loved one.
• Dr. Jay’s Children’s Grief Centre  
  • An article on Supporting Kids & Teenagers through Grief 
• Sesame Street in the Community – Grief Section 
• A short video about grief & memories 
• Kids Grief Website 
  • Online module – Understanding Children’s Grief
• Canadian Virtual Hospice
  • “Parenting a child through a death and grief” Video with Andrea Warnick 
• Children and Youth Grief Network
  • What are the 4 C’s? Four Common Concerns of Grieving Children and Youth
• Dignity Memorial:
  • “Helping Your Child Endure a Loss” by Ken Doka
  • Article, “Coping with Grief:  Helping Others Endure Their Loss” by Ronald H. Sunderland
• The Centre for Complicated Grief, Web information,
  • “When Grief Gets Complicated“
• National Institute of Mental Health, Web information,
  • “Helping Children and Adolescents Cope with Disasters and Other Traumatic Events: What Parents and the Community Can Do“
• Hospital for Sick Kids, Web information,
  • “Post-traumatic stress disorder: Signs and Symptoms”

References

Elizz.com, (2020). Tips of grief and loss. Retrieved June 29, 2020 from: https://elizz.com/caregiver-resources/types-of-grief-and-loss/

KidsGrief.ca. (2020) (5AD).  Talking to kids about death and dying. Retrieved on June 29, 2020 from https://kidsgrief.ca/

Kubler-Ross, E. (2014). On Death and Dying: What the Dying Have to Teach Doctors, Nurses, Clergy and Their Own Families. Scribner.

Canadian Virtual Hospice. (2020). Featured Content. (n.d.). Retrieved June 4, 2020, https://www.virtualhospice.ca

Librach, S. L., & Obrien, H. (2011). Supporting Children’s Grief within an Adult and Pediatric Palliative Care Program. The Journal of Supportive Oncology, 9(4), 136–140. doi: 10.1016/j.suponc.2011.04.003

The Centre for Complicated Grief. (2020). Key Definitions. Retrieved on June 2020 from: https://complicatedgrief.columbia.edu/professionals/complicated-grief-professionals/overview/

Brought to you by Every Child Belongs

As we approach Summer 2020, it is important to recognize that children and adults will have different experiences understanding physical distancing and other protocols in place due to COVID-19. Although attending traditional summer camps may not be possible this year, there are alternatives. Many classrooms and businesses are offering virtual services including summer camps. Below is a list of virtual summer camp options. Please note, some camps have a registration fee.

Shadow Lake Camp

Campers will enjoy a wide variety of virtual activities. Each week of virtual camp follows a theme and the activities/crafts are geared to the weeks theme!

Virtual Camp will consist of a combination of large “all camp” activities as well as smaller “Cabin” activities. This enables the campers to have opportunities to interact in large and small groups and with different staff and campers each day/week! Much of the “live” feed will be streaming directly from our actual camp so participants will feel more connected, engaged, and involved. They will also receive a camp kit worth over $50 including tuck treats every day, craft supplies, various activities to do while at home, or with the camp staff through Zoom and a camp shirt! (additional camp kits can be purchased if there are multiple people in the household).

Virtual Camp will be offered Monday to Friday each week beginning June 29, 2020. Morning sessions will run from 10:00am-12:00pm and afternoon sessions will run from 2:00- 4:00pm, (except for Fridays, which will finish by noon). Mid-day breaks will be complemented by Facebook Live activities. 

Cost: $300 per week

Registration: please visit MyCommunityHub.ca. Follow this link or search with registration number: 12412. For more information contact Shadow Lake staff at shadowlake.office@cltoronto.ca or at 905-640-6432.

Kerry’s Place – Camp Connection

Children and youth will have the opportunity to develop skills related to social interaction, maintaining friendships, and learning about others through fun activities that strengthen turn-taking and sharing skills as well as their imagination. 

The camps will be facilitated by the Kerry’s Place Community Services team and will take place on Zoom, an online platform.

Virtual camp will be offered Monday through Friday beginning July 6, 2020. 

9:30am-3:30 pm in one-hour intervals 

Families will be able to express their interest beginning June 10, 2020.

Cost: Free

Registration: https://www.kerrysplace.org/campconnection/

Belwood Lodge and Camps

Live programming will include social time, games, theme days, dances, coffee houses and performances, pageants, dances and more!   Additionally, pre-recorded videos are available that explore the animals and the nature of camp.

June 1st to August 29th, 2020 daily activities online Monday to Saturday. 

Cost: Free

Registration: https://www.belwoodlodgeandcamp.com/virtual-camp

The Boys & Girls Clubs

The Boys & Girls Clubs have partnered with Jays Care to offer a virtual summer camp. Registering for this camp will include weekly activity kits delivered to you, interactive programming and great resources for the whole family!

Camps will run in week-long sessions beginning on June 29 and each session will be 45 minutes to 1 hour long.

Cost: Free

To register, go to https://www.wsncc.org and click “Register Now” to select the week you would like to attend this virtual camp experience! If you have any questions about the camp or regarding registration, please email Northstaff@wsncc.org or call 416-500-9268 for more details.

STEM Camp

Offers virtual camps for gamers and those interested in website building and coding. From website design to Minecraft camp, these sessions will keep young minds busy and engaged.

Cost: $89 per week

Registration: https://stemcamp.ca/virtual-stem-camp/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIgdXBkfH36QIVkobACh0KxgErEAAYAyAAEgJEZPD_BwE

Easter Seals

Through interactive, fun, and social online activities and programs, campers of all ages and diverse abilities learn with trained counselors through role-playing game adventures, crafts, drawing, cooking and more.

Through live video streaming, counsellors lead discussions, offer mentorship, and cheer on campers during activities.

Cost: $75 per week

Registration: https://www.eastersealsbcy.ca/virtual-summer-camp/

Great Big Theatre Company

Innovative Online Summer Drama Camp with a variety of fun and interactive activities for kids and young people age 6-14 years. Participants will engage in collaborative and engaging drama games, improvisations, art projects, plays and scenes, along with lots of music, mixed in with fun movement activities and dance parties.

A camp week consists of two 75-minute participatory sessions each day, Monday to Friday, in which coaches will share movement games as well as storytelling and playwriting along with music, poems and fun raps.

Cost: $85 per week

Registration: https://www.gbtc.com/virtual-day-camps.php?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIl5PVxNT66QIVydSzCh1C4ArtEAAYASABEgLRcfD_BwE

McMichael ArtVenture Summer Club

McMichael’s art instructors have developed a fun and action-packed curriculum of virtual programming for children aged 6 to 12 years that includes artmaking activities, guided viewing of iconic gallery artworks and creative exercises that will nurture creative spirit and allow them to socialize with their peers in a safe online environment. 

Camps will run in week-long sessions beginning on July 6. 

3-hour daily sessions 

Cost (5-day sessions): $225 per week

Member discounts are available

Registration: https://mcmichael.com/artventure-summer-club/

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Available Financial Support 

One to One Summer Support Worker Reimbursement Fund

Do you need support for your child with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) this summer? The 2020 One-to-One Summer Support Worker Reimbursement Fund is available to Ontario families of children or youth with ASD who retain the services of a one-to-one support worker for their child as follows:

 Eligible Services:

• Respite services to support caregivers during the day, evening or weekend, at home or elsewhere (for example supervision of the child or youth, help with daily living activities or taking child out for an activity); and/or
  
• Fees for online or in-person recreational and cultural activities and camp programs that help to promote independence and develop social, communication and life skills (for example sports, arts and music programs, museums, and camps).
  

Note that these eligible expenses are consistent with OAP eligible expenses. Please click here to apply and for more information: https://www.autismontario.com/camp