Give your child a warning before the instruction so he is prepared
Use your child’s name to get his attention
Get down to his eye level
State your request clearly: using brief, simple language and be positive
Use visual strategies such as gestures, photographs, objects, modelling, and picture symbols to
help your child understand
Say it once, then WAIT
After the Instruction:
Allow enough time for your child to process and understand the instruction
Be prepared to assist your child with the request if he can’t do it on his own
Always use praise and reinforcement when your child follows through
Use Reinforcement:
Reinforcement can include: social praise, toys, food, preferred activities
Consider what is motivating for your child and use that
Move toward more natural forms of reinforcement as your child becomes better at completing
the instruction
Remember: There’s a difference between reinforcement and bribery:
Reinforcement comes after the task. Bribery is offered before.
Celebrate your child’s successes!
As a parent, teacher or early childhood professional, have you ever had one of these experiences?
You are having a conversation (with another adult) and your child starts talking to you, interrupting your conversation, or perhaps yells your name from across the room.
Your child pulls at your clothes or your hand to get you to help her, or to show you something.
Most people can identify with these situations. Many young children do not know how to get someone’s attention in a polite and appropriate manner. Therefore, when they need your attention, they simply call your name or tug at you, regardless of what you may be doing at the time.
Some children also have a hard time getting another child’s attention in an appropriate way. They may hit, or yell at the other child. Children need to learn the appropriate way to get someone’s attention. Like other social skills, this skill can be taught.
Helping your Child Learn How to Get Someone’s Attention
Here are some strategies that you might find helpful in supporting your child as she learns to appropriately get someone’s attention:
Talk about it
Start by talking to your child about the specific skill. Ask her questions like: “How can you get someone’s attention if they are talking to someone else?”, or “If Daddy is talking to Mommy, how get you get my attention?”
“How can you get someone’s attention if they are far from you?”
Teach
Teach your child a rule that will help her understand how to get someone’s attention in different situations. A Social Script can be helpful at this stage. It is a way of teaching children how to behave in specific social situations. It might include suggestions of specific things your child can say or do in response to the social situation.
Note: Depending on your child’s skill level, you can write a Social Script using words only, or you can add pictures or photographs to help describe each step.
Here is an example of a Social Script written to help a child learn how to “get someone’s attention”:
When I want to talk to someone, I:
Stand close to them and tap them gently on the shoulder
Say their name
Wait for them to look at me
Talk to them
Role-Playing
Give your child an opportunity to practise the skill by doing a role play or puppet show. In the beginning, you should play all the ‘parts’ to show your child what she can do or say in certain situations. You can keep her interested by using characters from her favourite television shows. Be sure to speak in an animated voice and use words that your child can understand.Try to act out situations with both positive and negative responses, as this will help your child understand what could happen in different situations.
Here are some examples:
Scenario 1
Maisy is reading a book.
Charley walks towards her and says, “Maisy.”. (He waits for her to respond)
Maisy says, “Yes, Charley”.
Charley says, “Maisy, look at my picture. Do you like it?”
Scenario 2
Maisy is reading a book.
Charley is across the room and yells, “Maisy, Maisy! (He does not wait for her to respond)
Charley comes running towards Maisy and says, “Maisy, look at my picture. Do you like it?”
Maisy is angry because she was interrupted.
Reinforce
Tell your child that you will be watching for this skill for a week. Reinforce your child when you see her following the steps to getting someone’s attention and remember to label the behaviour that you want to see.“Wow! I just saw you get close to Gina, say her name, and wait. You got Gina’s attention without interrupting.”
Review
Talk about the skill for a few minutes each day so that it is fresh in your child’s mind. This also helps her understand the importance of this social skill.
Teaching your child ways to appropriately get someone’s attention can be challenging and takes time. You will be most successful when you are:
PATIENT – Some children might need more reminders, more support, and more time to learn and use the skill.
CONSISTENT – Make sure that you and any other adults in your child’s life have the same expectations of the child.
POSITIVE – Remember to look for your child using the skill and reinforce her as much as possible.
“Bye Dad, see you later.” The first day your child goes to kindergarten can be both exciting and anxiety-filled, for you, as well as for your child. Knowing what your child will be doing in kindergarten and preparing him for this big step will ease the transition and focus his attention on the positive.
In Kindergarten, your child will:
make choices (e.g., choosing activities and materials to use)
share activities and space with other children
be asked to dress independently
be exposed to new people, routines and activities
have calendar/circle time with the group when he will be asked to sit on the floor and listen to the teacher
tell other children and adults what he wants or needs
use materials for writing (e.g., crayons, markers) and see other children and adults, write too
learn about the world around him
learn about colours, shapes, patterns, sorting, numbers, and letters
have opportunities to create pictures, structures, music, and songs
use different equipment to develop large and small muscles
Now that you know a bit about what your child will be learning and what may be expected of him, you can help prepare him for kindergarten by doing some of the following activities at home:
Give your child choices (e.g., foods to eat, clothes to wear, activities to do). You can use actual objects, or a visual choice board to help your child make choices.
Set up times for your child to be with other children and try to encourage turn-taking with different activities or games.
Help your child learn to wait. Count out loud or use your fingers to help your child understand how long he has to wait. If your child can count, encourage him to join in. For example, “One…two…three… It’s Adam’s turn!” Fidget toys can be used to help a child during waiting times. Your child can play with a small toy figurine, or piece of clay while waiting for his turn – this is a great way to keep him busy. If your child uses fidget toys at home or in the community, be sure to let his teacher know the information when he starts school.
Help your child learn to sit on the floor for short periods of time to get ready for calendar and circle time. Sit on the floor with your child and sing songs using props, such as a stuffed animal, or read a book. You can also take your child to an Ontario Early Years Centre, or the library for song/story circles to prepare him for this experience.
Practise self-help skills with your child such as dressing (e.g., putting on coats, snow pants, boots), cleaning up after snack time, hand washing and toileting routines.
Encourage your child to communicate his wants and needs, such as asking for help, asking for an activity, or going to the washroom. Your child may use words, sign language or picture symbols.
Practice preprinting activities with your child, such as beading (on a straw, pipe cleaner, or string), peg boards and lacing activities.
Read books to your child, talk about pictures, words, and letters.
Talk to your child about seasons, weather, growth and things he sees outdoors when on a walk or trip.
Do sorting activities with your child, such as sorting objects or clothing by colour and shape.
Talk about colours, shapes, numbers, letters in your child’s life (e.g., “See the red car “, ”The cookie is a circle shape”, ”You have 2 beads”).
Build with your child using a variety of materials such Lego, wooden blocks, tinker toys, or items found around your home like plastic cups or empty cereal boxes.
Help your child build large muscle coordination by rolling, throwing, and kicking a ball. You can also take your child to the playground for exercise and sing active songs such as “Hokey Pokey” or “Shake Your Sillies Out”.
As a parent, you are your child’s most important teacher. By preparing your child for kindergarten and continuing to work on these skills can help make his experience at school more successful.
Sources
This information has been adapted from the Toronto District School Board and the Toronto Catholic District School Board “Getting ready for Kindergarten” pamphlet.
Learning to get dressed or undressed is a big step towards independence for every child. Often times, when young children struggle while putting on their shoes, hat, or jacket, we are quick to jump up and help them.
Most preschool and kindergarten age children need some help with getting dressed. As a parent, teacher or early childhood professional you will need to make sure you have plenty of time and patience when teaching your child dressing skills.
Is he struggling with the task or trying to figure things out?
While some children will ask for help when they need it, others may struggle in silence. Let’s use the example of a child who is trying to put on his boots and determine whether he is truly struggling with the task, or simply trying to “figure things out”.
He is probably trying to “figure things out” if he:
Appears to be talking himself through the process (e.g., “Foot in boot.”).
Is testing different solutions to the problem such as taking his foot out of a boot if it doesn’t fit properly and trying the other boot.
He is probably struggling if he:
Appears angry or frustrated.
Looks from shoe to boot without taking any action.
Repeatedly does something incorrectly such as putting the right foot into the boot shaped for the left foot.
Looks at, or gestures to those around him for help.
Deciding what to teach
Here are some questions to help you decide which dressing skills to focus on with your child:
Does he know which clothing fits which body part?
Can he tell when clothing has been put on backwards or inside out?
Does he know how to put on or take off clothing in the right order?
Can he take off clothing?
Can he put on clothing?
Can he attach clothing using Velcro, zippers, or buttons?
In general, children learn how to take off clothing before they learn to put it on. Also, most children learn dressing skills that require movement of the large muscles (e.g., arms and legs) before ones that require precise movements of the hands and the fingers. Pulling pants up or down is easier than zipping them up!
How to promote independent dressing and undressing
Most children show an interest in dressing/undressing themselves and will feel proud of their abilities and accomplishments in this area.
When helping your child get dressed, provide him with opportunities to participate, follow his lead, and describe your actions.
Here are some suggestions to build independence:
Begin with the easiest clothing to put on and take off, such as hat, socks, shoes, or pants.
Talk about each step of the process. Be sure to emphasize body and clothing words. For example, you can hold out a shirt and say, “Joey, put your arms out. Now, you can put your shirt on. That’s right, one arm at a time!”
Verbally praise your child for each step he accomplishes – “Good work taking your shoes off!”
Encourage your child to sit down to complete the steps. This may provide more stability while dressing or undressing.
Break the skill into smaller steps and teach one step at a time. This process is known as Task Analysis – you’ll find more details in the For More Information box at the end of this tip sheet.
Use visuals, such as pictures to show the sequence of steps that your child can follow.
If possible, place a mirror in the dressing area so that your child can watch themselves as they put on the clothing.
You can also encourage your child to dress independently by practising dressing skills with fun activities.
Young children love to dress up in adult clothing and pretend to be ‘grown-up’. This is a fun and creative way for your child to practise putting on and taking off clothing. The larger clothing will be easier for him to put on. Just make sure that it is not too long for him to trip over.
Use a doll to show your child where clothing goes on the body and how to put it on. Let him practise dressing and undressing the doll without help.
Button Train – Cut a few train shapes out of coloured pieces of felt. Take half of the train shapes and sew a large button onto the back end of each one. Take the rest of the train shapes and make a vertical cut on the front end of each one. The cut should be just wide enough for the button to pass through. Show your child how to ‘button’ together the train.
Tips for Parents
For many young children clothing is a way to express themselves. While this is wonderful, it can be a challenge when you are trying to get your child ready for school in the morning. Some children may insist on wearing the same t-shirt day after day. Others may insist on wearing ‘dressy clothing’ to school.
You can involve your child in his dressing routine by grouping together outfits and allowing him to choose one to wear each day. This provides him with a choice and ensures that he is wearing clothing that is suitable for school and the weather. Some parents prefer to lay out an outfit the night before.
If your home has the room, you can set up an area for your child’s outerwear (e.g., jacket, scarf, hat) and backpack near the doorway. Put a small mat on the floor for shoes and attach hooks to the wall for a backpack and coat. Place a picture of a coat and backpack underneath the hooks to remind your child to hang them up. During the winter, you can add a bin for a hat or scarf. Your child may find it easier to identify his belongings and practise dressing if he has his own space. If possible, place a mirror at your child’s level so he can watch as he puts the clothes on.
Children who are learning to dress themselves need more time to get ready in the morning. When choosing your child’s outfits for school/child care, think of what he can easily do on his own and with what items he needs help. It is also helpful to keep in mind what clothing he might have to remove at school/child care. A shirt with buttons is OK but pants with buttons may be difficult for your child to undo in a hurry when he needs to use the washroom.
Take a look at the following ideas for “child-friendly” clothing:
Tops
Snap buttons are easier to use than regular buttons.
If buttons are difficult for your child to manipulate, stick to shirts and sweaters that he can pull on and off.
Sweaters or light shirts with a ‘half-zip’ at the neck are easier for your child to pull over his head because they have a large neck opening.
Bottoms
Choose pants or skirts with elastic waistbands.
Choose pants that fasten with Velcro.
‘Cargo’ pants that have several pockets make it easy for your child to carry a communication book or ‘fidget’ toy with him.
Outerwear
Tie a colourful ribbon or zipper pull to the zipper on your child’s coat. This will make it easier for him to pull the zipper up and down.
Attach mittens to a string and feed it through the arms of your child’s coat. This way he will not lose the mittens.
A coat with a hood is useful if your child tends to pull off or forget his hat.
A coat that zips all the way up to the chin is good if your child does not like the feeling of a scarf against his neck.
Shoes
Shoes that can easily be slipped on or fastened with Velcro instead of laces are practical in the winter when children need to take off their boots when they get to school or child care. You can also buy curly shoelaces that don’t need to be tied.
Sensitivities
If your child is sensitive to temperature changes, dress him in layers that can be removed easily. For example, a T-shirt, with a cardigan on top.
If your child is sensitive to touch, cut the labels out of his clothing and make sure there are no loose threads. Try to avoid sending him to school in new clothing in case the fabric is irritating.
* If your child has a physical disability that makes it difficult for him to move, grasp, or pull, you may want to speak to an Occupational Therapist (O.T.). An O.T. can provide you with information on techniques and devices that will make it easier for your child to dress himself.
The road to independence can sometimes be rocky, but setting small, realistic goals can make it smoother for both you and your child.
References:
Cook, R.; Tessier, A.; Klein, D. (2000) Adapting Early Childhood Curricula In Inclusive Settings. Fifth Ed., Prentice Hall Inc.
Young children often find it difficult to wait for a turn to use a toy or participate in an activity they enjoy. To a three year old, even a one-minute long wait can feel like forever. Learning to take turns is an important skill that your child will need to learn to be most successful at home, child care and school.
Here are some strategies to try to teach your child about turn taking:
Turns for Two
Start introducing the idea of waiting for a turn to your child during play. Construction, or ‘cause-and-effect’ toys and activities help your child understand when a turn is over. A “Jack in the Box” is an example of a cause and effect toy. When you press the button Jack pops out of his box.
Block Building – Put some building blocks, or Lego in a bin or pile on the floor. Start building a block tower by taking turns to add a block to the tower. You can say the number or colour of the blocks being added to help your child learn to count and name colours as well.
Lots of Dots – Share a marker or bingo dabber with your child and take turns making dots on a page. If your child needs support in waiting for his turn, try counting the number of dots each person gets to make during a turn. For a challenge, take turns finding and highlighting a letter in magazine or newspaper articles. For example, “Let’s find all the A’s. First it will be my turn. Then it will be Lara’s turn.”
Computer Games – Take turns playing the “Farm Animal Sounds” game in Just for Kids section of Learning Together. Take turns clicking on the mouse. For example, “Jay, it’s your turn! Can you find the cow?”
Train – If you have a toy train set take turns connecting pieces of the track. When the track is completed, you can take turns pushing the train along the tracks.
Make Some Noise! – This is a great activity for music lovers! Create a shaker by pouring some beads or rice in a plastic water bottle. Seal the top of the bottle (you can use tape if you don’t want your child to open it easily). Play some upbeat music and take turns shaking it. Develop your child’s counting skills by passing the shaker after a certain number of shakes.
Board Games – If your child has a longer attention span, simple board games such as “Candyland” are a great way to practise taking turns. If he can count, you can try “Snakes and Ladders”.
Once your child is comfortable taking short turns with you, encourage him to play turn taking games with siblings or friends.
Helping Children Wait
Young children are still developing their sense of time. They need help to understand how long “soon”, or “in a minute” really is without having to read a clock. Here are some strategies that can help your child understand how long a turn will be:
Timers – A sand timer can be used with very short turns. When all the sand falls to the bottom your child will know it is his turn. You can set a kitchen timer for a few seconds or minutes. When the buzzer sounds it is time for your child’s turn.
Counting – Count out loud or use your fingers. If your child can count, encourage him to join in. For example, “One…two…three… It’s Adam’s turn!”
Music – Play or sing a short song for your child. When the song is over, it will be his turn. You can also recite a short nursery rhyme.
Quiet Activity – Children who often become restless or impatient while waiting for others may be directed to do a quiet activity on their own such as looking at a book.
‘Fidget’ Toy – Your child can play with a small toy or piece of clay while waiting for his turn. This is a helpful way to keep your child busy when you need to wait.
Communicating Turns
Try to emphasize the word “turn” during daily routines at home. For example, “Sally is riding the bike. Next, it will be David’s turn.” Your child will soon understand that a turn means he has to wait until another person is finished using or doing something before he can use or do the same thing.
Use a combination of speech, gestures, and pictures to help your child learn to use the following expressions:
“My turn” Pointing to his chest.
Pointing to the “my turn” picture in his communication book.
Practise saying the words.
“Your turn”Pointing to or gently touching the hand of the other person.
Passing a toy to the other person.
Pointing to the “your turn” picture in his communication book.
Practise saying the words.
Flip Card – You can create a special card to help your child during turn taking. Take a cue card, or small piece of construction paper and glue your child’s picture to one side. On the other side, glue a picture of the person he is taking turns with. You can show whose turn it is by placing the card on the table. For example, Magid’s picture is on one side of the card and Amal’s picture is on the other. When Magid’s turn is finished, he flips the card over so Amal’s can see his picture and know it is his turn.
When it is your turn, model what to do by pointing to yourself and saying, “My turn.” Another adult or older child can coach your child to communicate when it is his turn. This person can guide your child (from behind) and move his arm into position to point to himself and/or softly tell him what to say.
With practice and support, your child will be more ready to wait for his turn.
Many problem behaviours can be prevented by making the behaviour irrelevant or not important. You can do this by changing the antecedent conditions – the things that happen right before the behaviour. Here are some suggestions:
Plan smooth transitions – When changing from one activity to another give your child plenty of warning. Try using visuals, such as pictures to help your child understand what activity or event is coming next.
Reduce waiting times – Young children can get restless when having to wait for a long time. When it is unavoidable, like waiting in line at the supermarket, bring a small toy for your child to play with, a book to read, or play a game like “Peek-a-Boo”.
Set simple rules – Setting rules ahead of time and reviewing them regularly will help your child understand what to do and what to expect. Be clear and consistent about what the rules are and the reasons for them.
Give clear instructions – Get down to your child’s level and speak in clear, simple words that let your child know exactly what you want him to do. Using gestures and visuals can also help your child understand.
Reduce distractions – Many things, such as sounds, too many toys, television, or people can distract your child and lead to lack of focus. Take note of the things that are happening in the environment when problem behaviour occurs. Sometimes taking away or reducing a distraction can lead to greater success.
Provide choices – Making a choice can help build your child’s self-esteem and reduce the likelihood of a power struggle. You will need to decide on and prepare the choices in advance. It is best to start with only two choices and gradually add more. A visual “choice board” can help you to organize this by creating pictures that represent all the “choices”.
Teach new skills or alternative behaviour
Many problem behaviours can also be made inefficient, or have no value for your child. You can do this by teaching an alternative to the behaviour (a more appropriate behaviour), such as teaching your child to ask for help instead of climbing furniture to reach a toy.
Begin by gathering information
Try to find the reason for your child’s behaviour – Why does he do that? You can use the ABC Assessment Chart to help you gather information about the problem behaviour including what happens before the behaviour, what the behaviour is, and what happens afterwards. Check out the For More Information box at the end of this document for details.
Consider what you want your child to be doing instead of the problem behaviour. What will give him the same pay-off or result, but is more acceptable? What skills might help him to cope better with difficult situations?
Select the right alternative behaviour
The key is to introduce a new skill, or alternative behaviour that:
serves the same function or reason as the problem behaviour
is simple or easy for your child to do
Best teaching strategies should be used
Break new skills down into small steps, and then teach each step. This is also known as Task Analysis. Check out the For More Information box at the end of this document for further details.
Model the desired or appropriate behaviour for your child.
Use visual supports, such as pictures, to help teach the steps.
Reinforce your child for using the new skill or appropriate behaviour. Give him lots of verbal praise, or a special toy to play with.
Change the Results
Many problem behaviours can be made ineffective, or not successful for your child by changing the consequences. The consequences are things that happen after the behaviour.
Catch your child doing something right
Find genuine occasions to reinforce your child for his positive behaviour (e.g., “Wow, Jamal! Good tidying up your toys!”).
Find reinforcements (e.g., verbal praise, preferred objects or activities) that will really motivate your child to use positive or alternative behaviours.
Respond to problem behaviour by:
Ignoring the behaviour (unless it could harm people or property).
Re-direct your child to another activity.
Use “no” carefully. Say “no” only when it is critical that your child stop the behaviour immediately.
TIPS FOR PARENTS TO REMEMBER
Behaviour change takes time and effort
It takes time to make changes so don’t expect immediate success.
Often, behaviour gets worse before it gets better. This can be the most difficult stage of changing your child’s behaviour.
Be consistent and stick to your plan.
Make sure that all the people who interact with your child use the same plan and strategies.
Reward the right behaviour(s)
Know what appropriate behaviour you want to reward.
Don’t make promises or threats that cannot be followed through.
Make sure the consequence is clear to your child.
Pick your battles
Don’t overwhelm your child by creating too much change at one time.
Select the most important behaviour and work on that first.
One of the most overlooked areas in all of the anti-bullying literature is adults’ attitudes about bullying and how we react when we observe bullying in our classrooms. It is important when planning anti-bullying interventions that we examine our own attitudes toward bullying. Some people have very strong reactions to bullying. Others feel that children should work it out for themselves and that bullying is a natural part of growing up.
All reactions to bullying are valid, as they are based on our own past experiences. Due to the power imbalance between the bully and the victim, however, this type of conflict is different and always requires adult intervention.
This tip sheet is designed to provide you with practical ideas to help educate children and to create a bully-free classroom. With that as our goal, our intention is to promote teachers’ self-reflection. This will assist them when planning interventions.
Points to Consider Before Implementing Anti-Bullying Strategies
Do you tend to relate more to the bully or to the victim?
Do you find yourself sometimes feeling that the victim deserved the treatment?
Do you focus all your attention on the bully immediately after a bullying incident?
Do you feel that when bullying occurs, you get so upset or angry that you overreact and you discipline the child too harshly?
Do you feel helpless when informed about a situation and therefore tend to avoid dealing with it?
Do you have set responses that you can adapt to specific bullying incidents?For example, to the victim:
“I’m glad you told me. I’m sorry it happened.”
To the bully:
“You’ve been saying mean things to (child’s name). That is bullying and it is wrong.”
To the bystanders:
“You saw what happened and didn’t say anything. I guess you weren’t sure what to do. Next time, tell the child to stop and then get some help.”
For Your Program at the Supervisory Level
Have a policy to deal with bullying.
Go over the policy with your program consultant to ensure the policy and the steps included are appropriate and meet with city guidelines.
Discuss the steps to deal with bullying (including documentation, informing parents, etc.) with all staff at the program so that everyone is aware of the procedure The parents must also be informed when their children start the program.
Incorporate anti-bullying programming into daily curriculum through staff meetings.
Creating a Bully-Free Zone for Classroom Staff:
Make rules to create a bully-free classroom (e.g., Work as a team, Kind words are cool, It’s cool to care, etc.).
Do cooperative/nurturing activities on a daily basis (e.g., Spiderweb Game, Motorboat, One Potato, Clapping Game, Pass the Ball Game, Musical Hoola Hoops, Kindness Tree, etc.).
Implement sessions specifically designed to introduce children to thinking about and dealing with bullying:
Session 1: Discuss the three kinds of bullying with children.
First ask children what they think bullying is and write down their answers.
Place their answers in the following three categories:
Social bullying
Physical bullying
Intimidation
Separate the children into three groups. Have them present the three types of bullying using puppet shows (see Anti-bullying Puppet Show Scenarios in Anti-bullying Kit) or role plays (see examples in Importance of Role Play in Dealing with Bullying). This helps children to see and better understand the three types of bullying.
Session 2: Discuss the character of a bully/victim
Have children discuss if the child is a bully or victim in stories.
Bring in two child-size body trace pictures and separate the children into two groups.
One group draws the bully and writes words on the picture describing a bully.
One group draws the victim and writes words describing a victim (any child who tends to bully should be placed in this group).
Do a victim quiz/bully quiz with the group (have half the group do a victim quiz, half do bully quiz and take up the answers together).
Session 3: Discuss the bully cycle and the role of bystanders
Discuss the bully cycle and how it works.<?li>
Discuss strategies to deal with bullying, such as: stay calm, use words (e.g., “Stop, I don’t deserve this.”), and/or report the bullying to an adult who can help you.
Read the “New Girl” and discuss the role of the bystander.
Have all the children do the bystander quiz and discuss the results.
Session 4: Discuss how telling is not tattling
Help the children to understand the difference between “tattling” and “telling” by using puppet shows and/or scenarios.
Tattling is usually done just to get someone in trouble and it is usually about something that is not very hurtful (e.g., Jessica didn’t tidy up her lunch).
Telling is to help someone else get out of trouble because they are being hurt (either the child who is telling or another child).
Session 5: Caring is cool
Discuss the Better Way World and the Children’s Bill of Rights through the reaffirmation of anti-bullying.
Have children do a superhero booklet in which each child explains what kind of a superhero he/she wants to be and how she/he would stop bullying as a superhero. Read the stories to the class.
When someone has concerns about your child’s development, a developmental assessment may be recommended. A developmental assessment involves getting to know your child and family in order to better understand his or her strengths and needs. Children’s development can vary greatly. Sometimes developmental concerns can be caused by a developmental disorder that can be diagnosed. Developmental disorders may only be diagnosed by physicians, psychologists, and/or psychological associates under the Registered Health Professions Act.
A developmental assessment may involve one professional or several professionals from different disciplines. Your child may be seen by a developmental pediatrician, psychologist, psychological associate, speech language pathologist, occupational therapist, social worker, and/or other clinicians with expertise in child development. The assessment may involve more than one visit over a period of time.
At a developmental assessment, you should expect to spend some time talking about how your child has grown and developed. Parents know their children best, so your input will be very important. It’s also important to bring any reports regarding your child to the first appointment. Informal and/or formal observations of your child’s play and social interactions with others may occur. The assessment of young children may involve having the child play with toys, puzzles and blocks, looking at pictures, answering questions, drawing, and/or completing pencil and paper type tasks. With your signed consent, the clinician(s) may consult with the school, child care, and/or other professionals involved with your child. Most children really enjoy their time playing and interacting with the clinician(s).
When the assessment is completed, parents will have the opportunity to discuss the findings, impressions, and recommendations with the clinician(s). Typically, a report is written summarizing these results and recommendations, and then given to the parents and the referring physician. With your consent, a copy of the assessment report may be sent to other professionals, such as the child’s speech language pathologist. You may also wish to distribute a copy of the report to your child’s school or child care.
Developmental assessments at hospitals are generally covered by OHIP and require a valid health card as well as a physician’s referral. The waiting lists at these clinics tend to be lengthy. Parents may also choose to see a private practitioner on a fee for service basis. Sometimes, families may have some coverage for a private assessment through their extended health benefit plans.
Source
North York General Hospital, Child Development Clinic
Angie is teasing Sophia in the school yard about her clothing. Sophia is not saying anything. You can tell by Sophia’s facial expressions and body language that she is upset. As a teacher, what do you do?
Paul takes Jack’s school books and throws them down the school hallway. Jack puts his head down and proceeds to collect all of his books that are now scattered down the hall. As a teacher, what do you do?
If we do not respond in any manner, the bullying will continue and situations that children are experiencing will become worse. Adult intervention and support is required when dealing with bullying. Expecting children to simply learn to cope with these situations or to independently find a solution is not an option. We will help you to learn how and when to approach children in these situations and what you can do to support them. The support that you provide to children in these situations will give children confidence, assist them in developing feelings of empathy and ultimately, and help to eliminate bullying.
If you observe bullying while it is occurring:
place yourself physically between the bully and the victim, preferably blocking the eye contact between the two children.
do not send bystanders away from the situation.
do not immediately ask the bully for reasons why the incident occurred.
refer to your classroom’s anti-bullying rules as specific to the situation as possible. For example, “Bullying is unacceptable. Teasing is not allowed.”
never require children to independently resolve an issue involving bullying due to the nature of bullying which always has a power imbalance.
Empower the child who is being bullied by acknowledging and affirming what happened. For example: “Angie hurt your feelings. I’m sorry it happened. It’s not your fault. You have a right to feel safe here.” Later, in private, give the victim strategies and specific words to use if it happens again. For example, she can say “Stop it. Bullying is not cool.” Encourage her to stay calm and be confident. Competing and arguing back will make the bullying worse. If Sophia finds it too hard to stand up for herself, you could also give her the option to ignore the bully and walk away. She could then talk to someone who can help, such as a teacher, friend, parent or any other adult she trusts. If a child approaches you about being bullied, be sure to acknowledge that it took courage to discuss the incident.
Teach the bystander by commenting on their inaction or lack of an attempt to help. You can teach the inactive bystander how to deal with bullying in the future by saying something similar to: “You saw Paul throwing Jack’s books, but you didn’t say anything. I guess you weren’t sure what to do. Next time tell Paul to stop and then go get an adult.” If a bystander has attempted to intervene, s/he should be praised for trying to help. For instance, you could suggest that the bystander to invite Jack to play with her/him somewhere else and comfort him so that he knows that what happened was not fair or deserved. Children need to hear this from their friends in order to regain their self-esteem.
Address and intervene immediately when you observe bullying. Tell the child that what they are doing is bullying and that bullying is not okay. Use the word “bullying” so that the child understands the fact that they are bullying. Provide an immediate consequence to the bully. If possible, it should be related to the incident. For example, Paul would need to pick up all of Jack’s books. The consequence should always involve the bully making amends to the victim. Intervention could take the form of teaching empathy and accepting differences by using games, activities, stories, discussions, or role playing. You could specifically use reverse role-play to teach empathy by having a child who has bullied act as the victim in a scenario. Helping a child to develop feelings of empathy will influence their way of behaving and interacting with others.
Plan ahead for when bullying is observed in your classroom. You can plan ahead by educating children in your classroom about bullying. You may refer to your classroom’s anti-bullying rules on a regular basis such as during daily circle times. Classroom policies may describe what bullying is and how to deal with it, including how to report it and the consequences of bullying. There are many preventative strategies to address bullying. For other ideas, please refer to the document entitled Educating Children About Bullying.
Personal stories can be a helpful tool to build resilience and self-regulation skills. With the help from an adult, children review these stories ahead of time to prepare them for new events, changes to their usual routine or to help them manage a social situation.
Personal stories can be used to:
describe social situations that are new or difficult
increase awareness of a situation
provide suggestions about what to do in the situation
give perspective or understanding on the thoughts, emotions, and behaviours of others
Any child can benefit from using a personal story. You can adjust the language, length, content and format for the child and situation. For example, for younger children you can use visuals such as photographs, drawings, or other pictures to support the written story. Incorporating elements of culture and identity into the story will help to add comfort and familiarity. Personal stories can also be recorded on an audio or video device to help children who learn best in this way.
When can I use a personal story?
To prepare your child for new events and experiences
A personal story can help prepare your child for new events or stressful situations by showing them what will happen and what they can do. For example:
asking a friend to play
going to a doctor’s appointment
having a visitor at home
entering an early learning program
To teach social skills
A personal story can help your child learn what to do or how to respond in a variety of social situations, such as:
asking for a toy from another child
keeping hands to self while waiting in line
To teach a new skill
A personal story can be used to break down and teach new skills, such as:
using the washroom
taking turns during play
crossing the street with an adult
How do I create a personal story?
In a personal story, the situation is described in detail with the focus on important social information such as what others might think, feel, or do. Descriptions about what to do in that situation are provided to your child.
Personal stories are written from your child’s perspective, using positive language in the first person (“I”), and in the present tense.
Correct: I sit quietly on the floor during story time. Incorrect: Adam must not talk during story time.
When writing a personal story, make sure that you only mention what your child should be doing, rather than what he should not be doing.
Correct: I tidy up when I’m finished playing. Incorrect: I don’t leave a mess after I’m finished playing.
Before writing a personal story, be sure that:
It focuses on teaching one skill.
You have talked to other people in your child’s life to get their input.
It is written at your child’s level of understanding and has visual supports (such as pictures), if necessary.
Sentences in a personal story
Many personal stories start with an introduction, usually stating the child’s name. The following list describes the types of sentences that could be used when developing a personal story.
Descriptive sentences explain the situation by answering the “wh” questions – where, who, what, when, and why.
Perspective sentences describe opinions, feelings and ideas related to the situation.
Affirmative sentences enhance the meaning of other statements to reassure the person.
Cooperative sentences identify what others will do to support the child.
Directive sentences suggest what the child could do (must be positively stated).
Control sentences identify strategies that children can use to remind themselves how to behave. Often, a child (with the support of an adult) adds this sentence after reviewing the story.
Here’s a sample personal story:
My name is Matthew. (introduction) I love playing with the big, yellow truck. (descriptive) Jonathan likes to play with the yellow truck, too. (perspective) When Jonathan is playing with the truck, I can say, “Can I have a turn, please?” (directive) I wait until he is finished with his turn. (directive) It is OK to wait. (affirmative) My mom will help me stay calm while I wait for my turn. (cooperative) My mom is happy when I wait for my turn. (perspective) When Jonathan is finished, it is my turn. (descriptive) I have fun playing with the truck. (descriptive) I can remember to ask Jonathan for a turn and to wait. (control)
Here’s a sample personal story for a younger child:
My name is Sadia. (introduction) Mommy drops me off at my program. (descriptive) I like when she kisses me bye-bye. (perspective) It’s okay for me to play and have fun all day. (affirmative) Mommy comes back for me and takes me home. (descriptive) I can look at Mommy’s picture, if I’m missing her. (control)
How do I use a personal story?
Once a personal story has been created, you can go over it with your child on a daily basis, until they are familiar with it. It is important to introduce and practice the personal story before the challenging or new situation occurs so they can be prepared. For example, if your child is currently working on a story about staying safe when they cross the road, you can review the story right before going for a walk to remind them what might happen and how to respond.
If the personal story is being used to teach your child new skills, provide them with opportunities to practice the steps to the skill. Go slowly and allow enough time for the child to transfer the skill from a story to “real life”.
Play is a wonderful way to connect personal stories to real life practice. If your child is not interested in books or responds more to “hands on” learning activities, you can tell them a story during play. For example, to prepare your child for going to see the doctor you can show them a play medical kit and allow them to act out a doctor’s visit.
What if it’s not working?
It is important to monitor whether the personal story is useful. If your child has not become more comfortable with the situation after two or more weeks of reading the story, it might have to be changed.
Ask yourself:
Is the story too long or wordy? Is it confusing?
Is it written at the right level for my child?
Should visuals (pictures) be included?
Does it focus on the behaviour you want to see?
Personal stories, when written and used well, can be very helpful tools in supporting children when experiencing new or challenging situations.
References:
C. Gray, (2010). The New Social Story Book, Future Horizons C. Gray, (2000). Writing Social Stories with Carol Gray, Future Horizons
